I know I do. What do I mean by that? I’ve got a mighty big ego. Not quite like the person who holds the position of the POTUS, but mine is bigly alright. I can be so self righteous it’s kinda ridiculous. And I know it. I see it. Others may not, sometimes they might, but I know it’s there.
At times, I’m able to let go of patterns of mine that don’t really work for me or others in my life. Sometimes even though I have patterns I know aren’t completely healthy and helping anyone, including me, my ego is one tough mother.
I know I’ve talked about letting go quite a bit here. Shifting our patters, especially if we’ve had them forever, is no easy feat. But as they say, what we resist, persists.
How does this show up in my life? My husband and I keep having the same argument/discussion over and over again without a lot of real resolution. I know it’s on both of us, but I can only change and shift myself. I know that really deeply, yet my ego still wants my husband to be the one to change.
It doesn’t matter that I tell myself I’m going to show up differently. And I do intend to show up differently. And then I don’t. I’m a Life Coach for goodness sakes. Really? The famous Maya Angelou said that when we know different, we do different. Well, sh*t, not at my house.
And it’s just my little (yet big) ego that’s struggling. Not the wise and compassionate part of me that knows that shifting will give me everything I want. And probably even more.
I wish I had a nice tidy exercise to help my ego let go but I haven’t found it yet. I’ve tried all my coaching tools to no avail with this.
I do think I’ve found the only thing that will help crack this nut. I have to be tired enough of my own bullsh*t, seeing the same results (that I don’t want) over and over again, to recognize that my ego isn’t getting me anywhere. Oh yes, “La Ego” can go along for the ride, but that’s it. No driving, no choosing the radio station, no choosing the destination.
This is not easy work my friends. We each have to continually show up time and time again if we want to shift our patterns. Shift our lives.
Staying stuck is not healthy. And over the long term, will leave you in a bottomless hole.
I’m a life coach and I’m human. I don’t have it all together all the time. Occasionally I feel like I do, but it’s not every day.
It’s about persistence and determination. When you desire something to be different, you keep trying until you find the answer for you. Sometimes that means, you have to own your own bullsh*t.
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