A fellow newsletter reader and friend of mine shared a story with me about a problem she had and resolved. I thought I’d share it with you in case you struggle with this too.
I’ll call her Sharon. Sharon said she had always wanted a “best” girlfriend or click of girlfriends to hang out with and do everything together. She felt bad because she didn’t have that one special friend or that group to hang out with. She said she struggled with it for quite a while. “What was wrong with me?”, she asked herself.
Does this feel familiar to you? Wanting someone or a group to hang out with where you belong?
This is a strong need for almost any human I believe. People we can share with, people who can be there for us in times of need, who will tell us the truth when we need to hear it, who will share in our joys and wins. People who just “get” us. Our tribe.
Sharon thought a lot about this, looked under rocks, and turned it over and over in her mind for years. And then she resolved it. How?
She realized she really didn’t want a “best friend in the whole world girlfriend” and she doesn’t like clicks. She has a husband who she describes as less than perfect, but a wonderful companion with whom she shares many likes, and is her best friend. She shares a lot with him when things are on her mind.
And she still needs a woman fix from time to time. So she calls up various girlfriends to have coffee, do lunch, or take a hike with. She’s active in the Meet-up group community, where she is always meeting new people too.
So she really has quite a few friends. Because of circumstances like illness, death, moving, or a change in interests, friends come and go in her life, and that’s ok. Sometimes she’ll meet new people she really clicks with. Haven’t we all had that experience? Those ladies stick around, and so does she.
She realized how lucky she already was. It was in her seeing the situation differently that helped her resolve her dilemma.
Thinking about her story reminded me of my own friends. Some people I know do have a “Bestie”, that one person who they go to on a consistent basis, or that cemented group of friends, a tight knit circle of just them. And it’s perfect no matter what you’ve got.
Various friends and people in our lives can fulfill many different roles. Some are the ones we cry to when we need understanding. Some are the ones we go to when we need a motivational pep talk. Some we just need to drink wine with. Some we need when we need a good dose of humor.
We all have such different personalities and are at different stages of life. Friends will come and go, and some we will always have. It matters most that you’ve got someone to go to belong with when you need it.
If you feel like that’s missing in your life, look up a local Meet-up or community group that shares similar interests with yours. It might take a while to find tribe members but you never know where one conversation with someone might lead.
Please share if you know just the perfect person who would love this.