I’ve been learning some new things recently about how our human experience really works. How we’ve innocently been looking in the wrong direction for how to have healthy psychology. The fascinating thing is we already have it, 24/7. We just don’t see it.
Over the next several weeks I’ll be sharing more of what I’m seeing in my own life and that of my coaching clients in more depth but today I’m just going to share one little tidbit.
You’ve heard me talk A LOT in the past about your thinking. Circumstances happen in life, then you have thoughts about those circumstances. You then feel a certain way because of what you think. You are always feeling your thinking. Because of how you are feeling you either take action because you’re excited to, or possibly do nothing because you’re afraid. Due to the action you take or don’t take certain results show up in your life. It’s a circular cycle. If you change your thought about whatever is happening in life everything in that cycle can change and you see different results.
Yes, that’s one way to do it and it can make a difference. It also takes what I call a shit ton of effort, willpower, time, and energy to do that. I’ve done it, my clients have done it. It can be exhausting.
One of the new things I’ve learned and come to see is that our innate human psychological design contains a process where you don’t need to jump in and change your thoughts to ultimately have different results. Of course you can, but really you don’t have to do anything at all. If all of this doesn’t make any sense right now, it’s ok. Just read this with an open mind and know I’m just pointing you in a new direction.
Let me explain it this way. You know you have a zillion thoughts that come through your mind all day long. Most of them you probably let whiz on by. Like what will I have for breakfast? Then what will I wear today? You think them, you act on them or not, then they’re gone. Just like the clouds that pass by in the sky without you doing anything to keep them around. If you don’t try to hold that cloud it will keep moving. This is the same as when thoughts come through our minds. If you don’t try to analyze them, hold them, keep thinking them over, and over, and over again, they will pass on by. Then another thought will come in and replace it. No DO ing on your part. This is how the system naturally works.
Well, you might say, what about the bigger things in life like taking a different job or making a big move. Yes, of course these are decisions that could possibly have more impact on your life than breakfast or clothing. However, they aren’t different in the sense that thoughts will come through about these potential decisions and you decide which ones you want to focus on or not. You can choose the ones that provide you with helpful information or the ones that provide you stress.
Let me give you an example of making a big decision from when I was in high school deciding which University to choose for the next 4 years of my life. That was a pretty big decision. They were both vastly different schools. One a state school with a massive student population, the other a private school with a significantly smaller number of students. On paper I had written two columns listing the positive and negative reasons for choosing either school. In the end everything was dead equal. I had no idea which school would be the better choice for me. I remember feeling stressed because I didn’t want to make the “wrong” decision.
Do you know what I did next? Nothing. I did nothing. I literally stopped focusing on the answer to that question. I didn’t know it at the time but basically I let my mind settle. Think of a snow globe. When you shake it up, there is snow everywhere and you can’t see clearly. When you set it down, the snow settles, and everything becomes clear.
This is also how your mind works. When you don’t keep the snow swirling by constantly thinking something, it will settle on its own, become clear, and available for an answer to come through.
And just like that in my third period history class, between 10 and 11am, I think it was a Wednesday, the answer to what University I was supposed to attend popped into my head clear as a bell, no ambiguity whatsoever. It’s not a moment I can even describe with words. If you’ve ever had that experience you know what I mean and you can’t describe it with words either. It was just the right answer for me and I KNEW it. I had an amazing college experience thank you very much.
The answers we seek are truly there within, as they say. One of the most productive things you can do for your life is let most of the thoughts that run through your mind float by like the clouds. No attention needed. If attention is truly needed, that thought will come through again. But it won’t yell at you or make you feel like crap, it will just tap you on the shoulder to get your attention to let you know where your focus might need to go for a little while. This is our natural human design. And it works perfectly if we don’t get in its way.
This is a direction I will be pointing toward more and more. This direction of a new paradigm of how the human experience really works and how to have more meaningful, peaceful lives with this new understanding.
Let me know what you think. And please ask questions if you’re confused.
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Image by Pixabay, with permission.