Why Asking For Help Is So Hard

women helping each other.jpg

Do you sometimes need help?

Do you actually ask someone for help when you need it?

If you do, why?

If you don’t, why not?

Asking for help in our culture isn’t something a lot of people feel comfortable doing.

Somewhere along the line, asking for help when you needed, it started to bring up all sorts of thoughts about you as a person. 

You weren’t smart enough.

You gave up too easy.

You must not have tried hard enough.

You should be able to figure things out on your own.

Asking means you’re weak.

Good golly, if I thought all of these things when I really wanted to ask for help, I’d feel like crap for even thinking about asking, and I sure as hell wouldn’t do it.

Yet, that is exactly what we have been taught for decades. Possibly by family, religion, culture, everywhere.

Even if you do reach out for help, then the shame game starts up. 

What will others think?

I can only tell specific people so it doesn’t get out.

Who am I really if I can’t do this all on my own?

That’s why it’s so hard to ask for help. Because we have a collective societal story and stigma around who we think we are as a person if we need help and how we’ll be perceived if we ask for it. 

Some cultural norms need to be broken. I do think it’s slowly shifting, but this is one of them.

Human beings need other people for connection. For support. For love. For community. For help.

It’s part of our DNA.

Think about the Amish. When they need to build a barn, do you think one guy says, “I’m going to do this all by myself, I don’t need anyone else?”

No, the entire community gets together and builds that barn. 

In one day.

Not a single one of us can live our life on our own. Even if you’re introverted. You need other people sometimes. 

Look at it this way. We all have skills and talents in various areas of our lives. My husband, for example, can build and fix almost anything house related. That’s his gift. He is so damn good at it. 

Asking for help can mean you need someone else’s expertise to help you in an area where you have less. That’s it.

I can’t do what my husband does.

I can’t fix cars.

I can’t put acupuncture needles in someone.

There are A LOT of things I can’t do.

So, if I need help with something I ask. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me. 

The same goes for you. If you need help with something you’re not that great at, ask. Someone who is great at (insert whatever here) would love to help you. 

I truly believe thats why we all have different talents. So we can help others who don’t have the same and be helped by others when we need it.

You don’t have to continue with the old cultural story in your mind. You can just say. I need help with this. Period. Then ask.

Speaking of help.

I love to help people with my talents. 

I am awesome and helping women who are feeling stuck with direction in their life, Get unstuck, and move forward towards what they do want. 

I even have a new program called Get Unstuck Now avaialbe to help you do just that.  You can find out all the details here.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.