Wisdom

Shift Happens

shiftingjpg

One of the most amazing things about life is that in any given moment we can make a shift. We can see things from a new and different perspective.  We can rewrite the story of our life. We can decide that the present is all we have and do our best to let go of what happened in the past, having learned from it, and realize that it’s history. 

Over the past few weeks it has become clear to me that I want some different things in my own life. Now here’s the part where this is going to sound vague. I really don’t know exactly what I’m looking for. For the first time in a long time, I’m okay with that. I’m a planner by nature. I’m starting to notice that even when I don’t plan as much, everything turns out just fine. I’m not even stressed about it. Don’t worry. I’m not up and moving to Tahiti. Though with winter on the way and a world climate that seems so negative, it’s tempting, but not where I’m headed. 

Here’s the hard part. I adore writing and sending out this newsletter to you every week. It is one of the fun things I do. It’s easy for me and I know so many of you love having something to sit with and reflect on. With my decision of shifting some things I’ve decided to stop writing and sending this to you. For the time being. 

It makes no sense that as much as I love writing, my own inner voice has informed me it’s time for a break. But that’s what it said and I always listen.

I’m giving myself this next few months, maybe even more, to not write in this way. I know I will miss sending this out to you. 

You’ll hear from me one more time next week before I take my hiatus. It will be the perfect time to put in a pause. It will be Thanksgiving week in the US. The time we stop to be truly thankful and grateful for what we already have in our lives. 

I need to shift. That’s really all. 

I’m betting that your inner voice tells you when you need to shift too. I hope you listen to it. It contains all the wisdom you need for your life.

See you next week! 

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would like this.

~ Susan

Image by Pixabay, with permission.


Trust Your Own Wisdom

inner wisdom.jpg

For a long time now, the self-help industry has innocently been pointing us all in the wrong direction of how to really help ourselves. I think it’s time to start realizing we don’t need self-help books. We’re not broken. We don’t need to be fixed. We need to trust our own realizations about our own lives and make shifts and changes from there. That comes directly from your own experience and wisdom. 

Something I often hear in self-help is you’ll never be truly ready to do something, so just feel the fear and do it anyway. From your own personal experience this may work for you. If it does, that’s fantastic. If your wisdom has shown you that’s what works best, then by all means, please keep doing that. 

If this isn’t you however, I’d like to take a step back and say maybe it’s not about having the fear and doing it. Maybe it’s not even about the fear. 

It’s just your mind spewing all sorts of thoughts, which it does naturally all day long, and you’re just feeling those thoughts. We’re always feeling our thinking. It’s how we experience life. A thought comes up about ourselves or a circumstance, we feel an emotion, then it washes back out again. It’s like an ocean wave coming onto a sandy beach then receding again. It’s only when we try to keep the water from going back into the ocean that we get stuck. 

Here’s an example. A few years back, a friend asked if I wanted to hike a section of the Appalachian trail with her. Right away my mind filled with thoughts about what kind of physical shape I was in, did I have the right gear, how do I figure out all the logistics, on and on. I was clearly not ready to do this. However, I was intrigued by the idea. There was some excitement in it. It sounded interesting, fun, adventurous, and it was something I’d never done before. This is what I did (or didn’t do to be honest). Nothing. I sat with it. I let all the thoughts about whether it was something I was ready for or wanted to do, as well as the, this sounds like it might be cool thoughts all come and go like the waves on the sand. 

Those different thoughts all came and went over the next months. They washed in, I noticed them, then they washed back out again. Again I didn’t “do” anything with them. I didn’t hold onto the one that asked, is it fair to your husband to just up and go hike for 10 days with a friend? I didn’t hold onto the one that said you’ve got to figure this all out now and take this adventure. Nope, I just let them come and go.

And one day, I had the realization (which is just another thought BTW), I can do this. I WANT to do this. And just like that I was ready to move forward with the idea. 

This is our innate, provided-for-us, always-there, amazingly perfect design. 

We don’t need self help books to “help” us make changes or move us in a direction. We just need to realize that our own wisdom about what’s right for us, what we want to do, what we’re ready for and when we’re ready for it, is right there. It’s underneath all of the thought processes we innocently go through to try and figure it all out. Those thought processes are natural. They come and go. Underneath is the clear answer about what you’re ready for and when you’re ready for it. I couldn’t read that in a book. No one could tell me how I would know when I was ready. I had to trust my own realizations of my own experience. No one else can have them for me. I can’t have them for others. 

Like when you learned to ride a bike. Sure you could read about riding a bike, or have your parents tell you how to work the pedals, steer, and stay balanced. You’re still not ready until you are. No matter what thoughts are traveling through your mind about how long it’s taking you to learn to ride, how you’re clumsier than your best friend, or how everyone else can ride but you. When you’re ready, you just ride, not thoughts needed. 

Do you see the lack of need for self-help? You’ve already got all you need. 

I think we often are trying so hard to fit in or feel like we belong somewhere that if our wisdom and experience tells us something different from friends or something we’ve read in a book, we feel like we’re wrong. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. What’s true for you is what’s true for you, no matter if it’s true or works for someone else?

Your wisdom is yours alone. 

She’s deep underneath all your thinking. 

Start listening.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.


The End Of Summer

the-oregon-grape-berries.jpg

It’s the official end of summer this weekend for US folks as Labor Day brings it to a close. Since summer is my favorite season, I always feel a little sad when it’s over. I’ve noticed I haven’t seen my hummingbirds in almost a week. The robins are busy eating the Oregon grape bush berries in our backyard. Some of the summer perennial flowers are slowly dying and I know they won’t be seeing them re-bloom this year. Our apples are ripe so we’re making apple sauce and apple cider. There’s a nip in the mornings again as I put on a little more clothing to walk our dog. < big sigh>

We’ve all got our favorite seasons. They come to an end every year. It’s ok to be sad about that. It lets me know how much I appreciate what the season brings to me. The incredibly vibrantly colored flowers, the green of the grass and trees, the birds busy with activity fluttering around, the longer light-filled days. I have no idea why those are my preferences but they are. You’ve got your own too. 

Change is always happening. The seasons are a perfect example. Change happens in you all the time as well. Your body cells grow, multiply, do their job, then die off. You have thoughts that come and go all day long. They are always changing. I won’t be sad for too long about summer moving into fall because I’ll be living in that next moment. 

The reason we stay in sadness or fear or anxiety for any length time is that we grab onto those thoughts about whatever is happening in our lives as they float by in our minds. We hold onto them like they were so very important. Like If I think, “I don’t want summer to end” then feel sad long enough and hard enough, summer will stick around a little longer for me. Oh ha! Because I’ve got that much control over the weather. 

If you notice, you think a zillion thoughts all day. About all sorts of things big and small. You don’t actually have to grab on to or hold on to any of them. If you don’t, they’ll just float on by like the clouds. If you’re feeling happier for a little longer than usual, you’re probably holding onto some thought that’s making you feel that way. If you’re feeling crappy for a little longer than usual, you’re doing the same thing. Not on purpose mind you. Your mind just sometimes attaches itself to some thoughts. 

So back to summer ending. It’s a date on the calendar. My hunch is that there will be a lot of days ahead when the weather is warm, the birds are around, and the flowers will still be blooming even though it won’t technically be summer anymore. I’ll feel happy about that because my thoughts will be happy thoughts. And as the weather really does change, my thoughts will change, and so will my feelings. But I won’t stay there forever. I’ll have another zillion thoughts in my day about what’s happening in my life. And so will you. Neither of us has to hold onto any thought we don’t want to. We can let them float by like a cloud with the wind and know our feelings will fluctuate all day long.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

Real Life

wise owl.jpg

Real life includes getting a cold and having a cough (for what seems like forever).

Real life includes being inspired and taking loads of action towards your dreams and goals.

Real life includes not getting enough sleep and feeling tired.

Real life includes getting too much sleep and feeling tired.

Real life includes moments of calm and peace in nature, or elsewhere.

Real life includes having to deal with things you really don’t want to deal with.

Real life includes having to pay a tax bill you didn’t think you’d have.

Real life includes putting too much on your to-do list.

Real life includes having amazingly supportive people in your life.

Real life includes physical and emotional pain.

Real life includes fear.

Real life includes long days at work.

Real life includes amazing vacations.

Real life includes technology that makes you want to pull your hair out.

Real life includes technology that makes your life so much easier.

Real life includes heartbreak.

Real life includes huge joy.

It’s all included in this real life you live.

How you respond to your real life is always your choice. 

It’s the most control you’ll ever have.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

How A Woman Heals

children-playing.jpg

A woman shared this on Facebook. She wrote it herself. She’s a life coach who works with women to use the healing power of the creative process through expressive arts and intuitive painting. 

So much of this resonated with me, not all of it, but a lot. Maybe some of it will resonate with you.

If you are a man reading this, maybe this will enlighten you a bit about your mother, sister, daughter, significant other, or friends. You might even see a little of yourself in there.

How A Woman Heals

What women need to heal is not for anyone else to tell them what to do or how to feel. They’ve had enough of those messages all of their lives. And they don’t need to follow someone else’s wisdom. What they yearn for is a radically empathic container of safety and support that allows them to access the deep wells of their own wisdom.

Women need to listen to themselves.

What women need to heal is dedicated time away from their multitudinous duties, obligations and responsibilities. They need to lay down the burden of needing to be all things to all people. They long to play. And have fun. To be giddy and silly and collapse into gigglefests. To laugh and laugh until they roll on the floor and snort through their noses and pee in their pants.

Women need glitter.

What women need to heal is permission to go into the wilderness of their internal world. To explore and embrace everything that they find there. They need to know that all of their feelings and emotions will be honored and respected.

Including their rage.

Their shame.

Their grief.

Their hunger.

Their desires.

They need a place where they can feel free to howl and moan and wail. 

Stomp and bellow.

Shiver and shake.

Women need lots and lots of chocolate.

Women need a place where they can be authentic. And real. They don’t need to be told that they are too much, too sensitive, too emotional or crazy.

They need a place where they can be unabashedly too anything and then encouraged to be even more than that. To express themselves with gorgeous abandon without holding anything back.

Women need art supplies.

Women need to remember. And to tell the truth. To reveal the secrets and stop the lies.

They need to bring out of the darkness and into the light the reality of the burning times. The nighttime violations. The betrayals. The rapes. The discriminations. The lost innocence.The times when they were afraid. And alone. And made to feel invisible. 

They need to tell their stories.

Shout their stories.

Dance their stories. 

Sing their stories.

Paint their stories.

Over and over and over again.

Until they know in their bones and in their cells that they have been heard. Witnessed. Seen.

Women need their voices.

Women need circles of other women. Bosom buddies. Companions on the journey. They need the sisterhood of knowing that they are not alone on this path. That they are part of a lineage of feminine connection and shared history. They need to know that their experiences are universal. And because of that they can be understood. Respected. Valued. Cherished.

Women need community.

Women need to reclaim the miracle of female embodiment. To bask in the luscious feminine sensuality that belongs only to them. To ecstatically re-inhabit bellies and breasts, hips and thighs. To wriggle and jiggle their sacred flesh. They need to embrace their own pleasure. Their own sexuality. Their own orgasms. To know that these things exist primarily for their OWN delight and are not dependent on anyone else.

Women need to dance their bliss.

Women need a place to be vulnerable. And needy. A place where they can fall apart. To be messy, snotty and rumpled. To not have to be perfect. They need to cry with each other. To be tender. And soft. They need to know that they don’t have to do anything to be loved. That simply who they are is enough.

Women need to be held by a compassionate heart.

Women need deep, deep rest. Sacred solitude. And silence. They need to be alone with themselves. To taste the deliciousness of their own being. They need time and space away from hustle and bustle and busyness in order to hear their own thoughts, feel their own feelings, know and identify their own needs.

Women need boundaries.

Women need to go to their edges. To take up space. Spread their wings. Daring to be big. Brazen. Practicing audacious expansion. To stand boldly in their triumphant female warrior fierceness. To confidently know the bottomless potency of their unflinching strength, plucky determination and dauntless courage.

Women need their power.

Women need to give birth over and over and over again. To babies of ALL kinds that include projects, plans, paintings, songs, blog posts, books, poems, businesses, visions for the future and genius ideas that will nurture and transform themselves and the world.

Women need to create.

Women need ritual and ceremony. Magic and mystery. Prayer and meditation. Soulful journeys. Heartfelt presence. Surrendering to the velvet inner darkness of their intuitive knowing. Opening to cosmic inspiration. Inhabiting the enchanted realms of their own imagination. They need to be broken open by awe. To dream themselves awake. To step into the holy of holies of wholeness and see their own true face reflected there.

Women need communion with spirit.

Women need independence. And liberation from oppression, both inside and out. The intoxicatingly sweet taste of self-determination. Living on their own terms. Radiant sovereignty. To be queens of their domains. To know that they can joyfully choose and choose and choose again a life of their own making .

Women need wild freedom.

Women need to remember their ancient earthy roots. To dig into the soil, dive into the ocean, wander in the the desert and open themselves in rapture to the star studded sky.

Women need to come home to the mother of us all.

 

Did any of this strike a nerve with you. I'd love to know.

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would love this.

~ Susan

Helping You Live A Slower, Simpler Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

The Quieter You Become the More You Can Hear

Stillness image.jpg

This is one of the drums I will beat, probably until the day I die. If you are a person looking for answers for your life, stillness must be a part of it. I do not know a single person who is not interested in evolving and growing who does not include some form of quiet, solitude, or stillness as a consistent ongoing practice in their life. It is essential.

The world is a loud, busy, hectic place. So is your mind if you haven’t noticed. That thing chatters at us all day long. I love my mind but good golly some days I wish it would just shut. up. already. 

You already know I’m a big proponent of Mother Nature and spending time with her to get still. I believe doing that is one of the best ways to slow down, get quiet, and listen to your heart and soul. 

Recently though, I’ve had to find a new practice. We’ve had multiple forest fires here in the NW with unhealthy levels of smoke blowing around for 6 weeks now. Some days, it just doesn’t feel good to sit outside and commune with the tress, the birds, the flowers, and the campfire in my nose. So, I’ve started a new practice to get quiet so that I can continue to hear what my heart and soul need to tell me. 

I set a timer for 10 minutes. I have my journal and pen next to me. I set the intention that the universe will share with me what I need to know. I close my eyes and I sit. And I wait to see what comes up. My mind wanders, yes it does. Often I get nuggets of inspiration in that wandering and I write those down. Other times I can tell my mind is just meandering around so I return to focus on my breathing again. 

It’s a simple practice. I try to do it daily. Some days “feel” more fruitful than others but it doesn’t matter. It’s a commitment I’ve made to myself and relationship with the universe. I know it will be good when winter comes and spending an hour sitting on my deck impossible. 

I know how important it is to listen. To be still. 

In order to hear what it is you need to hear, you must get quiet. I have never found a better way. I don’t think one exists. 

Do you have a practice you do consistently that allows you to ground and get the messages you need? I'd love to hear about it. 

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would love this.

~ Susan

Helping You Live A Slower, Simpler Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

Just Show Up

gettingwhatyouneedin yoga.jpg

It’s another post involving yoga! I swear, if you are willing to notice, everything in your life can be a metaphor for everything else in your life.  

For my Saturday yoga class I used to check the schedule to see who was teaching. I was quite particular about my favorites. If I wasn’t thrilled about the instructor or didn’t know them I wouldn’t go. But I love the time frame so over time I stopped looking at who was teaching and just showed up. Then something really interesting happened. I stopped expecting a class to be a certain way. Harder or easier. Faster or slower. More core work, less core work, more breathing, less breathing. 

When I showed up, I got exactly what either my mind, body, soul, or all three needed in that hour. Maybe it was a certain area of my body that needed more lengthening that day. Maybe it was something the instructor said that would resonate with me and remind me to ponder a little more on it. Maybe I was able to put my individual life into perspective with the bigger whole. 

We allknow the song about not getting what we want but getting what we need by the Rolling Stones. And it’s true. If I want a hard class, I can absolutely go on a time and day with an instructor I know is going to work my tushy. 

And then there’s Saturday morning at 8:15. I show up and invariably, get exactly what I need. 

Dropping the desire for things to be exactly as we’d like is no easy task. But if you can do it every now and again, you might be refreshingly surprised at the results of your practice. 

Where might you need to just show up and trust that whatever comes is perfect??

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would love this.

~ Susan

Helping You Live A Slower, Simpler Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

Your True Life is Within You

This is a picture of me at the ripe old age of 6 (almost 7). For Halloween that year I was a “gypsy”. For some reason, when I think back to all of the Halloween costumes I wore over the years, this one is ingrained in my memory as my favorite.

I searched for and found this photo the other day after one of my coaching mentors talked about how she didn’t really know what she wanted to be when she grew up. I remember being asked that time and time again when I was younger, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I never had an answer because I honestly didn’t know, or even have an inkling. That troubled me for a long time.

I spent some time pondering this because I’ve heard that often we do know when we are younger what we want. We have that internal compass (that we still have now) but back then it wasn’t all gunked up with various ideas of what our family, culture, or society thought we should do. 

So it actually makes complete sense to me now why this photo of me with all the beads and my crystal ball (Styrofoam covered in aluminum foil and covered with those little stars you got from the Five and Dime) was my favorite and actually was a prelude to my life.

In some way, I have always been a gypsy. Maybe not the wandering around in a tribe of people telling fortunes kind of gypsy, but the kind of gypsy who has followed her heart. I’m a gypsy who decided to change jobs/careers just because I felt the need to move on and do something different. I moved to different places in the country because it was just time for the change. I married one man then discovered it wasn’t meant to last our lifetime. So I divorced and found another that I think will make it with through the long haul.

This one little photo, this one moment in time, basically showed me my life pathway. Those memories about certain moments and periods that stand out are huge signposts for your life. 

One of my best friends told me the one thing she has always admired about me is that I am true to myself. And that is one of the highest compliments I have ever received. And she’s right. I’ve gotten off my path a time or two, but I always come back.I was always meant to meander around, changing things up in my life as my heart and soul directed me. I am a gypsy. That is my True Life. In my own perfect way.

I share this story because, well, first, my intuition told me too. And second because, it all makes perfect sense that I am a Life Coach (a profession that didn’t exist back when I was 6, so I couldn’t have known about anyway), who works with women and men who have lost track of that person. The person that was probably true to themselves when they were younger, but aren’t anymore.

It’s not like the life you are living right now is fake. No no. When I say True Life, I mean a life where you feel comfortable in your own skin, you have meaning, a sense of fulfillment. Every day may not be eye popping amazing, but you have a sense of peace and contentment. You feel in flow, like your life is how it should be because it just overall feels good and you know this because it’s true. 

I’m meant to be true to me and you are meant to be true to you. If you live your life from that place, you will feel content indeed. If you are struggling with that, I can help. I’m always only an email away.

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would love this.

~ Susan

your true life (know it, feel it, live it)