Your Truth

Do You Know How resourceful You Always Are?

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We humans are incredibly resilient, creative, wise, and resourceful at our core. All of the time. 24/7. It is innate within each of us. No exceptions. 

We have the capacity and ability to deal with any situation at any given time.

The story I am about to share will shine a light on this very truth. There are some details that may be a bit disturbing so I wanted to give you a heads up.

I spent the last few weeks on the East coast attending my 25th college reunion and visiting family. The first part of my trip went well. I got to visit the old and new of my college campus and see some people I hadn’t seen in a loooong time.

Then I drove to a small town in NC where I met a close relative I’ll call Flo.  Flo had driven from Florida to meet me and we were there to visit some other family who lived there. We had a lovely time going out for lunch then visiting for a while before returning to our hotel room for the evening. We planned to get up for breakfast and have a leisurely stroll of the area since the weather was cool and inviting.

And as they say, “This is where the plan diverged”. 

At 1:04 am I awoke to the sound of Flo having a grand mal seizure in the bed next to me. In this case, the seizure started with a blood curdling yell, followed by what sounded like intense sobbing. I initially thought Flo was having a terrible nightmare. So as much as the sounds she was making frightened me, I left the lights off and I figured it would stop soon.

Except within a few moments I realized something else was going on. She started shaking violently in her bed. It was dark and I was disoriented after just being awoken but I instinctively knew something was very wrong.

I jumped up, turned on the lights and went over to Flo. I called her name and shook her shoulders trying to wake her up. She wouldn’t wake up. Her eyes were sealed shut. She was foaming at the mouth and had heavy breathing. I waited a short while longer to see if she would respond, and when she didn’t, I dialed 9-1-1. 

That was the first time I have dialed 9-1-1 in my entire life. As I spoke with the operator something in my knew to remain as calm as possible. She asked me many questions and gave me instructions as I waited for the ambulance to arrive. If you’ve ever been in an emergency like this then maybe you have experienced “the time standing still feeling”. I have no idea how long it took for the ambulance to arrive but I can tell you it seemed like it happened both quickly and also like it took forever. 

They took her to the ER and I met her there. She had finally awakened and was completely disoriented. She kept asking me the same few questions over and over again. Where were we? What happened? Where were we staying? After a while she started to remember the events of the day and evening before we went to bed. Thankfully, everything that happened during her seizure and right after, she has no recollection of.

They did a few tests while she was in the ER, then admitted her to the hospital for more tests. I had no idea if we’d be there a few hours or a few days. This is when my resilient, creative, resourceful self showed up. 

I realized quickly that Flo would not be driving herself back to FL anytime soon. As I was the only person there, that would need to be me. We were also supposed to check out of our hotel room that day and I, if not both of us, would need to stay another night, so I’d have to check with the hotel about those arrangements. I ended up having to pack all of our belongings and move them to another room. I had also driven a rental car to meet everyone and had to figure out what I would do with that since I was going to have to drive Flo back to FL in her own car. 

What’s most interesting in all of this is that while my mind was processing all that needed to be done, figured out, and taken care of, it never once showed up and told me I was all alone, that I couldn’t handle this, that I should be nervous or scared. No, all of what’s at my core (And Yours too) is this same resilience, creativity and resourcefulness guiding you through life. 

Yes, it was obviously there in this emergency situation and after, but it’s always there. Even during non-threatening times. We just don’t see it.

In that experience that started at 1 am, early on a Monday morning and didn’t fully end until Thursday morning after I’d safely brought Flo back home and made sure she had everything needed in place for her safety, those core, innate qualities showed up. I did what needed to be done without question. Was it scary? Yes. Uncomfortable? Yes. 

And it showed me who I was and what I was capable of. How without anyone else I was able to accomplish so much and be there for another person. I don’t share this to boast, not at all. With reflection, this actually stunned me a little. I didn’t realize how much I could actually do until I had no other choice. That is gold right there.

You are the same. Your creativity, wisdom, and resourcefulness are within you too. Not just during times of emergency. All the time.

Think back to any time in your life when something sudden came up you weren’t expecting and had to deal with it. My hunch is that you did handle it and probably quite well. 

It’s what we’re made of. Even small children who don’t know what to do in a situation know to ask someone for help. That’s their innate resourcefulness. Look at a squirrel trying to get seeds from a bird feeder. We all know how resourceful they are. You are no different.

Our minds babble at us all day long and we often can’t hear what we need to hear coming from inside. But in times of crisis, that resourcefulness comes through because it must. It is our default setting. We can see it more clearly during our  emergencies because there really is no place for our minds to babble at us with info we don’t need so it doesn’t. So why in every day life does it seem we don’t have access to it as much? Because our brains babble at us and we literally analyze all those thoughts our brain offers, to death. That’s the only problem. If we didn’t continuously overthink every little thing, what we needed to hear could come through. The answers and wisdom to everything we see as life’s problems are there below all the thinking. So stop latching on to all your thinking, even for a short while, and notice what shows up. 

Your resourcefulness is innate within you. All the time. 24/7. No exceptions. 

If you can see this, even for a moment or so here and there, your whole would could open up. 

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would like this.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.


Your True Nature Is There All The Time

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You know how trees are rooted in the earth with their roots spreading deep, wide, or both, (depending upon the type of tree)? Your true nature is exactly like this. Steady, stable, strong, calm, peaceful. We are all like that. It’s our true home and always there.

Have you ever noticed when you wake up, before your brain engages, you feel relaxed? Or maybe when you’re sitting by a lake or river and your mind isn’t blabbering at you, you actually feel less stressed, worried, or anxious? 

How do I know this is your true nature, all of our true natures? Because we  all want to feel that way as much as possible. Can you honestly say I love feeling anxious, worried, scared, stressed? Or do you prefer the calm, relaxed feelings you have on occasion ?

If that’s your true nature, how come you don’t feel more grounded and relaxed on a consistent basis? I’ll make it easy. Because you believe all the thoughts that run through your mind and take them personally. You innocently decide that those thoughts mean something about life itself or who you are. They mean absolutely nothing about life and who you are. They are nothing but words strung together in your mind that you give meaning.

Here’s the best news about all of this. Because of your innate design, the one we all possess,  your mind will self correct. It’s built to fix itself. If you let it. 

Say you are feeling crappy. It just means you’re having a thought that makes you feel crappy. Leave it alone, do nothing with it, and voila a new thought will pop into your head, therefore a new feeling. You don’t have to do anything at all. No tricks. No techniques. No thinking happy thoughts. It will change on its own.

Don’t take my word for it. Try this on for size. Notice what happens. 

Your true nature below you’re thinking is always there. If you stop trying so hard to think about things, your true self will emerge on its own.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

Let Your Thoughts Float By Like Clouds And You Can Find What You’re Looking For

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I’ve been learning some new things recently about how our human experience really works. How we’ve innocently been looking in the wrong direction for how to have healthy psychology. The fascinating thing is we already have it, 24/7. We just don’t see it.

Over the next several weeks I’ll be sharing more of what I’m seeing in my own life and that of my coaching clients in more depth but today I’m just going to share one little tidbit.

You’ve heard me talk A LOT  in the past about your thinking. Circumstances happen in life, then you have thoughts about those circumstances. You then feel a certain way because of what you think. You are always feeling your thinking. Because of how you are feeling you either take action because you’re excited to, or possibly do nothing because you’re afraid. Due to the action you take or don’t take certain results show up in your life. It’s a circular cycle. If you change your thought about whatever is happening in life everything in that cycle can change and you see different results. 

Yes, that’s one way to do it and it can make a difference. It also takes what I call a shit ton of effort, willpower, time, and energy to do that. I’ve done it, my clients have done it. It can be exhausting. 

One of the new things I’ve learned and come to see is that our innate human psychological design contains a process where you don’t need to jump in and change your thoughts to ultimately have different results. Of course you can, but really you don’t have to do anything at all. If all of this doesn’t make any sense right now, it’s ok. Just read this with an open mind and know I’m just pointing you in a new direction. 

Let me explain it this way. You know you have a zillion thoughts that come through your mind all day long. Most of them you probably let whiz on by. Like what will I have for breakfast? Then what will I wear today? You think them, you act on them or not, then they’re gone. Just like the clouds that pass by in the sky without you doing anything to keep them around. If you don’t try to hold that cloud it will keep moving. This is the same as when thoughts come through our minds. If you don’t try to analyze them, hold them, keep thinking them over, and over, and over again, they will pass on by. Then another thought will come in and replace it. No DO ing on your part. This is how the system naturally works.

Well, you might say, what about the bigger things in life like taking a different job or making a big move. Yes, of course these are decisions that could possibly have more impact on your life than breakfast or clothing. However, they aren’t different in the sense that thoughts will come through about these potential decisions and you decide which ones you want to focus on or not. You can choose the ones that provide you with helpful information or the ones that provide you stress. 

Let me give you an example of making a big decision from when I was in high school deciding which University to choose for the next 4 years of my life. That was a pretty big decision. They were both vastly different schools. One a state school with a massive student population, the other a private school with a significantly smaller number of students. On paper I had written two columns listing the positive and negative reasons for choosing either school. In the end everything was dead equal. I had no idea which school would be the better choice for me. I remember feeling stressed because I didn’t want to make the “wrong” decision. 

Do you know what I did next? Nothing. I did nothing. I literally stopped focusing on the answer to that question. I didn’t know it at the time but basically I let my mind settle. Think of a snow globe. When you shake it up, there is snow everywhere and you can’t see clearly. When you set it down, the snow settles, and everything becomes clear. 

This is also how your mind works. When you don’t keep the snow swirling by constantly thinking something, it will settle on its own, become clear, and available for an answer to come through.

And just like that in my third period history class, between 10 and 11am, I think it was a Wednesday, the answer to what University I was supposed to attend popped into my head clear as a bell, no ambiguity whatsoever. It’s not a moment I can even describe with words. If you’ve ever had that experience you know what I mean and you can’t describe it with words either. It was just the right answer for me and I KNEW it. I had an amazing college experience thank you very much. 

The answers we seek are truly there within, as they say. One of the most productive things you can do for your life is let most of the thoughts that run through your mind float by like the clouds. No attention needed. If attention is truly needed, that thought will come through again. But it won’t yell at you or make you feel like crap, it will just tap you on the shoulder to get your attention to let you know where your focus might need to go for a little while. This is our natural human design. And it works perfectly if we don’t get in its way.

This is a direction I will be pointing toward more and more. This direction of a new paradigm of how the human experience really works and how to have more meaningful, peaceful lives with this new understanding.

Let me know what you think. And please ask questions if you’re confused. 

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.


Why You Aren't Really Lost Even Though You Think You Are

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A few years ago I was out on a mountain bike ride. I had a plan, a map, and headed out. I passed several trail signs which confirmed I was going the right direction.

After a while, I didn’t see those trail signs anymore. I knew I had somehow gotten off the path. Again? Dang!

I am notorious for starting out with a plan, losing my way, then getting lost and having it now work out. 

Life is SO like this.

How often do you find yourself somewhere you didn’t expect or want to be?

Does that mean your choice was wrong?

Sometimes you start on a path you think is the right one for you, then it takes you somewhere unexpected and you wonder if you were actually on the right path at all to begin with.

You’ll know it’s right because you’ll “feel” it.

The paths that are true and right for you are felt deep within you.

Some feel it at a gut level, some notice it in their heart, some in a place that can’t really be put into words. For some it’s a “knowing”, for others it’s a sense of rightness, or lightness, or calm. If you think back to certain points when your life was humming along and all was well, I’m guessing you would notice a sense of its rightness or truth for you. However you notice that or feel it, it’s perfect for you.

Your path is never the straight kind, from point A to point B. 

And, you are never truly lost. You just “think” you are. You’re just where you are on your own path. Maybe the path you’re on will teach you exactly what you need to learn about life in this moment.

Occasionally you start down a road that feels great, then something happens and it’s not so great anymore. Some roads end at that point. That’s okay. Maybe you were only supposed to be with that person, that job, or in that city for a certain amount of time and then it was time to make a change.

How do you know when it’s time to change the path you’re on?

When continuing the direction you’re headed in doesn’t feel right anymore. There’s tension, and yuck, and no way out…. 

The change could take the form of a slight shift, it might not need to be drastic. Or it could be you need to move in a completely different direction. 

No wrong answer. It’s your path.

By the way, I found my way back to the correct trail. I got out my map which told me nothing about where I was or needed to go. I just stopped for a few moments and listened to where my inner knowing thought I should go. 

Worked like a charm. 

This reminds me of one of my favorite aunties sayings, “I’m not lost, I’m taking the scenic route”.  My hunch is she’s never been lost a day in her life.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

What Simple Things Make You Happy?

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As you already know, a lot of what makes us happy in life are not the big events, though they can absolutely do that. Often what really makes us happy on a deeper level are the little things we notice, do occasionally, or appreciate on a regular basis.

Today was a beautiful example. I spent some time out on my sunshine-filled, 75 degree deck looking up at the blue sky, enjoying my vibrant flower baskets and pots, watching the robins eat the oregon grape berries, listening to our small water feature I lovingly call our babbling brook, all while someone across the way played their flute beautifully, and I colored in my coloring book.

Yes, you read that correctly. I colored. I don’t do it very often but today I did. And it was so fun. I don’t know why I enjoy getting out colorful markers and painting inside the lines of what’s drawn but I do. It’s relaxing, calming, and just flat out enjoyable. Add all the other things I mentioned above into this experience and it was bliss. 

No need to be working on something, cleaning something, being busy. The mind will chime in with so many ideas about what you aren’t doing and you don’t have to listen to it. You really don’t. What you need to know it what brings you contentment, joy, or happiness, and do that.

Honestly there was no need to be anywhere but where I was doing exactly what I was doing. 

Simple things bring such joy sometimes. And if you’re enjoying various moments in your life, isn’t that all that matters?

What simple things make you happy? I’d love to hear.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would like this.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Do You Know The Right Way?

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Do you know what the best part about your life is? You get to live it YOUR way. And if it’s not your way, then we need to get you a new life!

I’m serious. 

One of my pet peeves is when other people tell me that I’ve got to do something a certain way. How on earth could they possibly know what way would work for me? 

I took a business building course recently and what the leader of our group said was there are SO many ways you can create a successful business. And there are. She has found ONE way and been able to repeat that with her clients using that ONE way, over and over and over again. She knows however, her way is one way that’s right but not the only way.

When you find a formula for your life that’s repeatable and helps you to be and successful on your terms, that’s gold. 

Which is why it’s so important that you know there isn’t really one right way for everyone. How can there be? 

We all have different personalities, likes, dislikes, values, preferences, natures, fears, dreams…

There will never be one right way.

Please don’t look for that.

Look for YOUR way. And you won’t be disappointed.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would like this.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck or confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

There's Almost Nothing Better Than A Good Question

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Do you know what one of my favorite parts about being a life coach is?

I get to ask a lot of questions.

What’s so great about asking questions?

The answers to those questions are found inside of you.

I absolutely adore asking my clients questions. It’s how they find out what is true for their life. 

Sometimes the questions seem meaningless, like, “What do you do for fun?”, or “If you could live in a different city, where would it be?”

Sometimes the questions seem deeper, like, “ If you could change one aspect of your life, what would that be?”, or ”What ’s the one thing that makes you so mad about what you see in the world that you would donate your time, money, or both to trying to change it?”.

Here’s the most interesting part. All of the questions are important. The ones that seem simple and the ones that seem deeper are equally insightful into what’s important to you. Every question you answer honestly comes from your truthful self. 

There’s just something about having another person who is there to ask you questions about your life, especially ones you weren’t expecting, that helps to open up the creative side of your brain. Which is incredibly important when you’re looking for answers that resonate with you. 

Yes we can ask questions of yourself. And I do love a great magazine article where questions are asked and you can either ponder them or sit down with your own pen and paper and write down what comes up for you. And if you can find someone who is able to really hear you and ask amazing questions to get to the heart of what’s true for you, that’s gold.

Not every question can be answered right away. Sometimes you have to let things percolate for a while. Answers usually surface either when you’re ready or when it’s the right time. The universe definitely works in its own time frame, not always yours.

What questions do you need to be asking yourself to get to what’s true for you?

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck and confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

The Midlife Wake Up Call

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We all have different points in our lives where we get a wake up call of sorts. Sometimes it’s because of a sudden catastrophic loss like a death in the family, loss of a job, loss of your health, or loss of partner or friend. Sometimes it’s a feeling of something being off in your life or an unease and you can’t quite put your finger on it. Or it might just be clear that something isn’t working anymore and you need to change. That something doesn’t need to change mind you, but YOU do. 

I worked with a client recently who falls into category 3. She is ready for something to shift in her life and she just needed to figure out what it was and which direction to go. 

As I’ve talked about here or a looooong time, I’m a firm believer in the Universe having our backs. It’s always here for us to help us on this journey we call life. The evening after I coached her I came across a blog post from the famous shame and vulnerability researcher, Brene Brown. I read through it and immediately knew it was for my client to read. I sent it to her and she reported back that she cried through the entire article. 

I’m going to share it with you because it’s real, raw, true, and may hit you in a deep way as well. 

It’s called The Midlife Unraveling

You’re Welcome!

Let me know if any of this resonates with you, I’d love to know.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck and confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got something to help. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

Got Passion?

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Passion has been a buzzword for a long time. 

What’s interesting is that earlier in my life I had an idea of what passion was supposed to mean. I have no idea exactly where my definition of passion came from but it looked something like this.

If I was really passionate about something I would spend my days (and nights) thinking about this thing. I would want to put all my energy and enthusiasm into it, and nothing else would matter. This passion would last me a lifetime and if I was involved with it and in it, I would have purpose, meaning, and all the fulfillment I could ever want in my life.

So I set off on this course to find this one “passion” of mine that was supposed to be the driving force of my life. 

And do you know what happened?

I failed EPIC-ly in the finding my passion department. 

Why?

Because my idea about what a “real”, “true”, and “correct” passion was, was all wrong for me. 

I saw other people who seemed like they had found their “one” thing and their drive, excitement, and determination was so strong that I thought I had to feel that same way.

Except I didn’t. I truly thought something was wrong with me genetically because I couldn’t find that one passion. Or maybe I really didn’t have a “purpose” on this planet. 

That kind of messed me up for a while. What was I doing wrong that I couldn’t find this “thing” in my life that I could devote all my time and energy towards?

Have you ever felt this way too?

Here’s what I figured out. 

Some people do have that one driving, burning passion that leads their life. 

Some.

I’m thrilled for them.

Most people do not. 

Most.

I’m in the most category. Maybe you are too.

One of my favorite definitions of passion comes from Merriam-Webster:

“A strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something”. 

This little definition of passion feels so much more accessible to me. 

It takes out all the bigness and stress about finding that ONE thing to devote my life to. 

Because I have a lot of enthusiasm and excitement for many different things. 

In fact, I love variety in my life so much it’s one of my core values. 

I couldn’t possibly have one passion, it’s not in my DNA. 

When I just think about devoting all my time and energy into one focus, my whole body freezes up. I would be bored out of my freaking mind. That is the absolute opposite of passion.

Passion is all about meaning. What causes or activities light you up enough that when you are involved with them you feel like your life has more meaning? 

For me anyway, that is what passion is all about.

Passion=Meaning

You can have one big area of life you’re passionate about or multiple others.

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that your life feels meaningful, to YOU.

Whether it’s filled with one passion, or many, is neither here nor there.

If you’re worried you haven’t found your one big passion yet, you can stop. It might not even exist.

Spend your time, energy, and enthusiasm on as many activities you want to.  And know that if your life feels meaningful to you, you’ve already found your passion(s). 

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Do you feel stuck and confused about what you want your next step in life to be? I've got answers. Grab 4 Surprisingly Natural Steps to Discover Your True Desires to get clear on your own answers for that question. 

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

Dare to Decide

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One of my mentors uses a phrase that is powerful.

Dare to Decide.

Every single one of us, at some point in our lives (often times many), hits a turning point. It’s that place where something isn’t working for you in your life anymore. It could be your job. A relationship with any number of different people. Your habit of spending too much money. Drinking or eating when you think that’s what you want but doing those things doesn’t really bring you much joy.

Often, there’s a feeling of deep unease. It’s probably been there for a while. You can’t quite put your finger on exactly what’s bothering you but it’s there. You just know something is off.

You can continue in the same direction trying to brush it off, but that feeling doesn’t go away. If that’s the case, this is where you need to take a step back, stop denying that something isn’t right, then you Dare to Decide to do something different. 

What is it that I need to let go of?

What needs to change?

In what direction do I need to go?

What’s working?

What’s not working?

Daring to decide can be scary. 

It could mean you let go of an idea, or someone you thought you’d never let go of.

It could mean you need to take a hard look at your finances, or your habits of overeating, or overdrinking. 

There are times when the only way you will grow as a person is to stop denying, look at what’s right in front of you, then dare to decide you’re going to set a new and different path.

Here’s the thing.

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve already have.

If what you already have isn’t working anymore for you it’s time for change. 

And do you know what happens when you make a decision and move in a new direction?

“Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would not otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have dreamed would come his way.”

~ William H. Murray

In other words, the universe has your back.

Dare to Decide.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

What's True for You? (Part 4/4)

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You’ve made it to the last part of What’s True for You!

Here are parts 1, 2, and 3 if you need to catch up.

You’ve Found, Felt into, and Followed your truth. 

And the last step is, drumroll…

Repeat.

Well, that’s pretty easy and a letdown at the same time. 

Easy because you know the steps.

And then there’s the part that gets in the way.

Your brain.

It’s always our brains that get in the way of anything and everything.

I can hear you saying, “Susan, but weird things happen in life. Kids get sick and car accidents happen on the way to going to yoga class”. Yes, they do. But life things don’t happen every single time you plan to do what you need to do for you. 

You flow with that, then get back on track.

The way your brain gets in the way of you really following your truth is that it comes up with excuses and reasons, and never ending stories about why you can’t do this, or you shouldn’t do that, or someone else will be upset if you do. I can assure you, your brain has perfected that task. It has done it for so long it’s on autopilot. 

So what do you do to get your brain out of autopilot? 

You start by noticing what it’s telling you on a regular basis. For now, let’s focus specifically on something you want to follow with your truth.

Maybe it’s you wanting to go to the gym 2x/week for an hour because that’s what you’ve found feels good to you. It’s good for your body and your mental health. 

Then your brain says something like, “I don’t have time”. Bingo. That’s your clue it’s getting in the way. Because you want to go to the gym. You know the benefits. You want it to be a priority. Your brain is giving you an excuse.

We’re talking 2 hours in a week that contains 168 hours. If you remove 56 of those hours for sleeping, you’ve got 112 hours. If you gave up a tv show, some time you spend on social media, did housework a little later, you would have loads of time to go to the gym.

Your brain will tell you, you don’t have time. But it’s you that has to look at how you are actually spending the time you do have. Yes, something might have to give. And if this going to the gym thing is really a priority  for you then you schedule it and do it. 

The dishes will still be there. So will the internet. So will anything else you dilly dally on. But your focused energy and effort at the gym is your time for you. No one else. And that by itself is worth it.

So instead of, “I don’t have time”, what thought could you replace it with that would actually get you feeling motivated to go? It could be anything like I’ll make the time. I’ll stop doing A. I’ll find another time for B. I’ll rearrange my schedule so that I can make that my time. That’s it. Find a thought that brings you the motivation to do what you say you want to do. Then practice it. Again and again and again and again.

And that’s the 4th step. Repeat the Finding, Feeling and Following your truth. Along with a dash of watch your brain and don’t let it stop you from getting what you want. 

Please let me know if this 4-part series on What’s True For You? has been helpful. I’d love to hear your comments.

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

Whats True for You (Part 3/4)

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This week we’re chatting about Following Your Truth. If you missed it, here’s  part 1 on Finding It, and part 2 on Feeling It.

You’ve started by Finding Your Truth. Thinking about what you want that you don’t have, and thinking about what you want that gives you that sense of “YES”.

Then you’ve gotten into feeling that truth. Those feelings are words in the mind and physical vibrations you experience in your body.

Now it’s on to following your truth. This is where you choose one desire for your life and you map out how you want to accomplish it. What is a small step you can take consistently, (and consistently is key) on a weekly basis to work towards this goal of yours? 

It doesn’t have to be big. I highly suggest it that it shouldn’t be. It should be something small this is easily accomplishable. If it feels like you have to move the world to make it happen, then it is way too big and you’ll get overwhelmed and you won’t do it. Maybe it’s a phone call to someone. Schedule it on your calendar and do it. Maybe it’s a walk outside. Schedule it and do it. Whatever it is, schedule it and just do it. 

Scheduling something on your calendar is a bit like making a commitment and sticking to it. You have to decide that what you want is important enough to make it a priority. If you aren’t wiling to do it then it’s not that important to you. 

Because we make time for what’s most important. How do I know that?

Think about what you do on a day to day basis. Why do you do it? Does it make you feel good? Bring in money to support you or your family? Help other people? You wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t a priority in some way.

Ok, now think about something you want to do you but aren’t doing. Why aren’t you doing it? This is the question to look at because it could be it’s not really that important to you.

Let me explain it this way. People who are addicted to drugs will do anything, beg, borrow, steal, anything, to get drugs. It is that important to them. You are no different they are in the sense of making time for what’s important to you. If something you thought you wanted turns out to be not as important as you thought, so what? No biggie, move on.

Alrighty. That’s it for this week.

Choose one desire to follow. 

Make a plan with easy, small steps to works towards it.

Schedule it on your calendar.

Do it!

And if there’s something you want and you aren’t willing to make it a priority, think about why that might be. At least find out why something is or isn’t important to you.

Next week, we’ll talk about the last step.

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

What's True for You? (Part 2/4)

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We’re talking about What’s true for you and then how do you go from where you are to living from that place. Last week was all about Finding what is true for you. I hope you were able to spend some time sitting with what that might be. In cased you missed it, here’s part 1 on Finding.

And the four parts:

You Find it. 

You Feel it.

You Follow it.

You Repeat

Today is all about Feeling what’s true for you. And while it’s about emotions (you know), the happy, sad, angry, afraid kind, that isn’t the whole picture. Emotions aren’t just in our heads, like when we get good news, we smile. Emotions are actually also felt in the body. Maybe you are fully aware of this, then awesome! If you aren’t, I’m here to share what I know.

Here’s an example so you can see how it works. I was working with a client recently who has not been living from her truth for quite a while. We talked about a situation that was painful for her. And yes we talked about the painful emotions, the ones she describes in her mind. And then I asked her where in her body she felt those painful emotions. I had her close her eyes, focus on what she was feeling, then had her notice where in her body they showed up. And she said, “In her chest, shoulders, and neck”. When I asked her to describe what that physically felt like, she said, “It felt tight like she couldn’t breathe”. THIS is how emotions show up in the body physically. They are actually physical vibrations of energy. Tightness in the chest, a constriction of muscles, a feeling of heat, a heaviness, are all examples of a physical vibration. 

Ok, let’s go the other direction. When I asked this person about moving toward her truth I wanted to know what she felt in her chest and shoulders. Her response, “Relaxed, no tension, expansion, a lightness, I can breathe again”.

This is part of your inner compass that I talk about. Our bodies talk to us all the time. 

So feelings are noticed in the brain and body.  With feelings of truth, there’s that sense of possibility, joy, relief, peace, or excitement.  Those feelings are how you know which direction you’d like to go.  As I mentioned last week, the truth of what we want is never painful. It’s our own personal beacon to follow.

Here’s your homework for the week. 

Think about one truth, desire, longing, goal, desire (or whatever word works best for you). Visualize having that in your life. Where are you, what are you doing, what do you see, who is there? Think about what emotion comes up when you visualize this being a part of your present life. Just pick one. Then close your eyes and notice where that emotion shows up in your body. What does it feel like? All you’re doing is noticing. No need to do anything else but find out what’s there. 

You can practice this until next week. Start to pay attention to the emotions you’re having, and where and how do they show themselves in your body. You continue to be a scientist of your own life.

So, next week we’re going to move onto actually Following your truth. 

I can’t wait. 

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

What's True for You? (Part 1/4)

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If this is the year you are ready to acknowledge and follow your true desires, then this is the year that I am ready to help you move forward on that path. I see so many women saying,“I’m done hiding," “I’m done feeling stuck," “I’m done feeling afraid of disappointing others,” “I’m done being afraid of making the wrong decisions”. “I’m done not living a life that feeds my soul”. 

Do you say any of these things to yourself? I still do this sometimes too. We are all a work in progress.

But how the heck do you get on the true path for you?

The great news is it’s actually a pretty simple 4-step process and I’m going to help you with it. 

You Find it. 

You Feel it.

You Follow it.

You Repeat

Today we’ll start with Finding it.

When I say Finding your truth, what does that mean?

What’s true for you can be anything as big as, for example, you follow a religion and follow its tenets verbatim, to as small as you do not feel and operate at your best unless you get 9 hours of sleep per night. As well as anything (and everything) in-between. 

Your truth is never painful. Truths are longing, desires, ways of being, ways of living that when you think about them or visualize them, you feel good, you feel alive, you feel a YES! 

Sometimes we just get little glimpses of our truths. Like you notice another person’s life and you’re jealous or envious of what they do or have. There’s probably something about them or their life that you’d like to have. Notice that because THAT is a truth for you. 

Maybe you daydream occasionally about a trip you’d like to take or a hobby you’d like to take up or start. Notice THAT because in there is something that is true for you.

Did you get the cold or flu that was going around? Even that is a truth in the moment. A need to slow down and rest for a while. 

Some people dread going to their jobs. Within that dread is a truth. Either you’ve got to shift something within yourself around that job, or you’ve got to make another plan and leave. 

When you’re really good at something AND you love doing it but you don’t know why. Sure, maybe you got some training to get better, but whatever it is, it’s pretty effortless for you. Another key is that other people say things like, “you’re so good at that, I could never do that”. And they’re right, they can’t. Like my husband with math and the use of his hands to build things. Just the idea of all those numbers in my head and trying to figure out how to build stuff makes we want to poke my eyes out with a fork. NOT my truth. But for him, bliss.

See, what’s true for you is all around you. A house with open blinds, or closed blinds. You’re a “I need a pet person," or “No, I don’t think so”. A “If I don’t travel I’m not alive” person, or “I love to stay at home”. A “I want to have many children person” or “I want to be childless”. 

Your truths can show up as fun sounding ideas, curiosities, also what you don’t want, that is truth for you too. Be a scientist of your own life. But make it playful and relaxed.

Truths can change and evolve at anytime too. What was true 10 years ago may not be true for you now. And what is deeply right for you now may not be in another 10 years. 

Your truths are your own personal guiding light. Your truths are yours. Others don’t have to like them. They don’t have to agree. But you can’t live their life and they can’t live yours. That’s why it’s best to live your truth and let them live theirs. Sure you’ll butt heads occasionally because it’s inevitable that two people’s truths will collide and affect the other. That’s when you have a thoughtful discussion about it.

What happens when you follow your truth?

You create new definitions of yourself.

You make choices from your inner voice. 

You have more joy.

You feel in charge of your life.

You feel confident.

You feel free.

And those are just a few amazing things that happen when you really find your true direction.

So, this next week, start noticing what’s true for you now? Where in your life are you following what you already know on a deep level? What’s missing that if you had it, would feel like you won the lottery?

You don’t have to even do anything with this information now, just be with it. Really let it all sink in.

Next week we’ll talk about Feeling your truth.

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who needs this.

~ Susan

Helping You Get What You Want Out Of Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.

 

Your Truth and Nothing But Your Truth

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Ok! 2018 is here and rolling. And it’s time to be truthful. This may be a bit longer post than usual but I think it’s necessary to start off this brand spanking new year.

Let’s get truthful about my life and truthful about your life.

No worries about me sharing all the squishy details of my life but it’s good to share specific aspects because I’m betting you will relate.

I’ll start with me and I want you to notice where anything resonates with you. Because as human beings, even if our experiences aren’t exactly the same, our thoughts and feelings we have about our lives are usually universal. We’ve all experienced joy, fear, sadness, anger, etc…

In my lifetime,  I’ve made many decisions about who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.  I chose to marry, to not have children, to have dogs, to live in various states, to be a Physical Therapist, to leave Physical Therapy as a profession, to become a Counselor, to leave Counseling as a profession, and to become a Life Coach. The training I went through happened to be through the Martha Beck program. Both her intuitive, and practical way of coaching others resonated with me on a deep level. At the base of how she views life coaching is that each and every single one of us (at our very core) knows what feels most truthful and right for us. And life coaching is all about listening to that part of ourselves, leaning into that part of ourselves, and following that part of ourselves. Because when we do that, we as human beings are able to live a life that feels most meaningful and fulfilling to us. And depending upon what your definition of a well-lived life is, I can almost bet that if it doesn’t feel meaningful to you (even when it’s sometimes hard), then what’s the point?? 

What I do know is that both you, and I, are just two individuals here at this time. We have THIS life at this moment. You can make that as majestic or as small as you want. But it’s your life to live. 

And many years ago I realized I wasn’t living my life based on what I really wanted, my deepest core truth. No one taught me that I had one to listen to and follow. I had dreams and goals, but honestly, they were based at least partly on what others thought I should be doing or should want. And also what I thought the world expected of me. That was ingrained in me for a looooooong time. It still shows up for me now, although not as much.

What would happen if I really listened to, then followed my heart and soul? Left my marriage? Left my financially stable career?  

Some people thought I was nuts. Some were supportive. I also got some harsh backlash from others. It was hard. It was stressful. It was painful. And in the end it didn’t matter. Why? Because the path of my own truth is the only one that would lead to the life that felt right to me. That’s what help from an amazing counselor and Life Coach training helped me to see. 

Fast forward about 5 years and I’ve been sending out newsletters and coaching fantastic people, I live in a kick-ass community, I have really amazing friends, a loving husband, a great part-time job. And something is still missing for me. A real sustainable coaching business helping others find and follow what’s true for them. 

Yes I write to you a lot. I love writing. I absolutely love it when people email and tell me my writing has helped them. And I have coaching clients, here and there. I love working with people to help them follow their truth. They may know what it is and are stuck moving forward. Or they have no idea and want to learn how. I will be brazenly honest here. I am damn good at coaching. My clients tell me, and other seasoned coaches tell me I am spot on with helping others get to their core desires, show them what’s keeping them stuck, then coming up with a way to move forward towards their desires. I know it. I feel it. I love it. It’s my calling (if you will). It comes naturally and easy to me. I don’t know why. It just does. I can’t deny it.

I’ve been in my own personal rut for a few years. Not really claiming my coaching gifts. Not helping people the way I know I can. And must. I know it’s only me stopping myself from living this part of my truth. 

I simply cannot let another year go by without actively sharing this gift of mine on a much more regular basis.  

So, do you see yourself anywhere in my story? Maybe doing some of what your heart and soul inspires you to do but not all of it? 

Here’s an exercise to help you. Grab a pen and paper. Set a timer for 30- minutes, or whatever feels good. Go outside into Mother Nature if it’s warm enough, if not, at least go somewhere quiet. Take a few long, slow deep breaths to get centered. Then think about your life. What do you do (or have) that feels exactly like what you want on a deep level? Write that down. 

What is missing that you would you like to do (or have) that comes from the  deepest part of yourself? Write that down. 

The way you know that whatever you wrote down is coming from your heart and soul is because the first thing that happens when you think about doing it or having it is a feeling of satisfaction, joy, excitement, peace, contentment, or a close sister to one of these feelings. This is all before your brain jumps in to tell you why that isn’t possible or reasonable or dumb. Heart and soul truths do not come from your brain. Your brain can help you make those dreams a reality but that’s now where they start from. 

Maybe in this exercise you learned something you want to move towards  this year. Maybe you were reminded, yet again, of a longing that’s followed you for eons.

Either way, your truth wants to be lived. I know it.

So get cracking. You can do this. 

Feel free to leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, susan@susancarrollcoaching.com.

Please share if you know just the perfect person who would love this.

~ Susan

Helping You Live A Slower, Simpler Life

Image by Pixabay, with permission.