A Love Letter to My Sweet Dog

Monday 09/29/14 You filled my days with SO much joy. Just being in the same room with you made me (and I think you) extremely happy. Your sweet, gentle face melted everyone’s heart that you met. Your fierce wagging tail, that could knock a drinking glass off a table and blow candles out, was a sign of how thrilled you were to be with anyone who showed you attention.

It always made me smile as I watched you run down the trail with your yellow tail, slightly curved up at the end, swaying back and forth with your stride. I’d call your name and you’d turn to look at me with that sparkle in your eye and know that home base was near. And off running you’d go.

You loved being rubbed from the top of your head to the tip of your tail, and even in-between your toe pads. I loved running my fingers over all your furry parts. Your ears were as soft as velvet. As I massaged them with my hands your eyes would roll back in your head. I knew how good it felt. You pawed at me when I would stop because you wanted more. I always obliged.

After you ate meals you would lie on your side on the floor rubbing your nose in the carpet making little pig-like grunting sounds. You LOVED food. You could clean out any sink strainer with your tongue by standing up on those long back legs of yours. And you were a master of stealing food from others. So quick, they didn’t see it coming.

You had some bad habits, but you never made me mad. I would just laugh at you.

When I’d walk in the door after being gone just a few hours, you’d practically fly over to greet me and whine like I’d been gone for days. Then I’d put my face right in front of your nose and you’d sniff my scent to make sure we were connected again.

If you happened to be sleeping when I walked into the room and you heard me, your eyes would open and you’d thump your tail so hard I thought it might break. I would call you by one of your nicknames and watch your head pop up off the floor, one ear up and one down, in full anticipation of what I would say next. I’m pretty sure you were always hoping I’d ask if you wanted to go for a car ride.

You are the only dog I’ve ever known that would sleep on the couch belly up, with your back legs spread eagle, and your right front leg lifted straight up into the air like you had a question to ask.

Then one Monday morning, out of the blue, you woke up and something wasn’t quite right with your back and your hind legs. I somehow “knew” something was very wrong, but I didn’t want to believe it.

I chose from the various options the vet gave to help you and me get back on the trails together. You were so patient with me as I took you back and forth to the vet for injections for what we thought was arthritis. After a while, you hated going there.

I hope you know how much I prayed and hoped, and did everything I could to get you back outside to run and sniff, and eat animal carcasses in the woods. I even bargained with God. Take something away from me, anything, so that you could have your life back. I pleaded. Don’t let this be it. It’s just too soon.

You had better days and not so good days. But the one thing I could count on was that you would eat every last morsel of food at every meal. You never lost your amazing appetite. I know food became a highlight of your days. As well as all the times I lay with you on the floor stroking your fur.

In the end, I did the kindest thing I could. I freed your amazingly happy spirit from your malfunctioning body and said goodbye. I asked my mom, who has already passed and was awesome with animals, to look after you until I could be with you again.

I know the hole in my heart is so huge because I loved you so much. I never missed an opportunity to show you what you meant to me. If I had to do it all again I wouldn’t change a thing. I know I did it right.

You’ve been gone 7 hours Kona and the house is SO quiet without your thumping tail on the floor and your bright eyes looking at me. I miss you so very much already. I knew this day would be tremendously hard, but the reality is, it’s more excruciatingly painful than I’d ever imagined it could be.

I’m already thinking about your soft fur, your breathing in and out, the sound of your eyelids when they blinked, that happy whine, and so much more. I know my life will never be the same without you in it. I can’t even begin to imagine it. I really don’t want to. It hurts too much.

So now that you can, enjoy the trails. I’ll picture you running all around just like you used to do. As well as the sparkle in your eye when I’d call your name and you’d look over at me. I so look forward to being out there with you again someday.

 

Play in Peace Kona.

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Kona, AKA, Big Boy, Boo Bear, Yellow Kid, Sweet Boy, and Sweet Pea

August 2002-September 2014

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Get Outside and Nurture Your Life