It became utterly clear one night this past week, that at least for now, I’m closing down my Bloom Time Life Coaching business. This may come as a surprise. It’s one for me too. But I think subconsciously I’ve been mulling it in my mind for a while.
Any time you start a business, there’s a risk it might fail. Mine did fail, but only financially. In all other aspects, like the awesome clients I had, the amazing tools I learned about building a website, technology stuff in general, and the super cool people I met, it was a total success.
But to make this decision, I went through both dirty and clean pain.
Dirty pain happens when the thoughts swirling around in your head about a situation bring you emotional “dog-doo” turmoil. For example, the basic fact was, my coaching business wasn’t profitable enough to be sustainable. Period.
The thoughts (or story) I built up about it went something like this. “I’m not passionate enough, motivated enough, driven enough, committed enough… to have a successful business.” With those thoughts, BIG crocodile tears ran down my face.
After some time, I realized, there may be some truth in those thoughts of mine. Maybe I wasn’t driven, motivated, passionate, and committed enough to be an entrepreneur and have a business, at this time. In this moment. Heck, I could start another business again in 5 years if I wanted.
And goodness knows that with all of the things I’ve done in my life, like backpacking through Europe twice, earning two masters degrees, moving across the country more than once, I’ve gotta have some hard core drive in me somewhere.
So after those dirty pain thoughts went through, I felt empty. But in a relieved kind of way. My chest had let go of whatever I had been schlepping around without realizing it.
I felt sad and disappointed that my hopes and dreams didn’t become the reality I wanted. And it was clean pain. No story around it, just clean, simple, sadness.
And then I felt “free”. No more trying to make something work that obviously wasn’t working. I know I’m a great coach. People I’ve coached have told me. I’ve got great coaching tools I can use in my life and to help others. Who knows how I might use them in the future.
While I won’t be taking on any brand new clients, since I get great joy from blogging every week, that won’t go away. I’m keeping what feels good (writing) and ditching what doesn’t (the marketing of a business).
I am so proud of myself for trying something new, for taking a leap into the unknown, and following my heart. I have no regrets about taking the path that felt right.
It’s absolutely okay to step off one path and choose another. At any time. I don’t have to make it mean anything negative about myself. My new path, though unclear, feels right too. I don’t need to see the whole road, just the next step.
And that next step means, I’ll see you next week, right here.
Is there something you've wanted to walk away from for a while but haven't?
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As always, take from here what works for you, share this with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest… you can leave behind.