This is the first post in a 3-part series about
Finding Your Own Fulfillment.
I’m on a new, unchartered, scary as hell (in a good way) entrepreneurial journey now. I up and left my job as a substance abuse counselor to claim my life as a Life Coach. This was not the life I had planned for myself 5 years ago. Entrepreneur? Me? (insert hilarious rolling on the floor laughter here) Nope- I don’t have what it takes to do something like that…
One of the clients I worked with at the methadone clinic (where people choose to go when they want to kick their addiction to heroin, vicadin, and oxycontin), had quite the interesting viewpoint on life. I’ll call him David. One day David said to me,” You know, if I had all the money in the world, I would be high as a kite all day every day, 24/7”.
WOW—I thought. Being high must feel pretty freakin’ awesome to want to spend all day in that state. Okay I’ll admit it; I’ve been high in my life. Back in my twenties I smoked marijuana… twice. Seriously, it was only two times. And for the record, I did inhale. After the second time, I woke up in the middle of the night vomiting chunks of who knows what all over my bed and decided right then and there, I think I’m done with marijuana.
But his statement got me wondering. Do YOU have a pull that is so strong, like David’s (minus the heroin of course), that whatever it is, you would do almost anything to have it? A desire filled with expectation and possibility? I know David did. He stole, lied, and cheated to get his heroin fix. That’s how important it was to him.
Maybe you have a pull that comes up from time to time and you push it down saying to yourself, no I could never do that. I don’t have the time, money, or ability…
I’m betting you do have a desire, tug, or pull towards something that lights you up, makes you grin from ear to ear, or makes you feel like you are free.
It could be you want more free time for yourself in your life, a better relationship with someone, or long to change something in your job, maybe change professions all together.
I know for sure that we all have pulls like that. Some are stronger than others but they are there.
Some of my clients get simple messages that say, take dance lessons, go on a ski, take a class at the local university,or have tortellini soup for dinner. Others hear their inner voice telling them to go climb Denali, quit their job, or get in bed and sleep for two days. Sometimes the messages we get make sense. Yes, going on a ski is good for my health and will make me feel better. Sometimes they don’t make any sense. Why on earth would I want to go climb Denali? But that’s the beauty in feeling and listening to the pull. It ALWAYS means something. Or it wouldn’t be there to get your attention.
Another of my clients I’ll call Sally also had a pull. Sally was a busy mom, raising 4 kids, feeling like her life was missing something. She absolutely loved being a mom and wife, but felt she had no room to use her creative side and blossom in another way. Her pull was to use her creative side in a way that she could DO something that was fulfilling to her by using her talents and strengths, felt super fun, and involve her kids. She was pulled to join the PTA. I have to say, the idea of joining the PTA feels a bit painful to me personally. Kind of like pulling out my leg hairs one... at... a... time. Let’s just say her pulls are different than mine, but that’s okay because your pulls are unique to you.
The question is, are you listening to the pull? What exactly is it telling you?
Would you be willing to spend five minutes in a quiet place with no distractions? You can try this now or later. If so, sit comfortably or lie down. Take a few long deep breaths focusing on the air entering and leaving your lungs. Then when you feel a sense of calm, ask the questions, what do I want? What do I feel pulled towards? Then wait.
Just notice what comes up.
It could be anything from (a whisper) I need a nap, to I want to run a marathon, to (a scream) my job really sucks and I want out. Your deeper self will show you all sorts of interesting and fascinating directions that you really want to go. Again, just notice. No judgment allowed here. Be willing to allow these ideas to come up, notice and just sit with the feelings that arise too. Do you feel a smile come across your face? Do you have a deep longing in your bones? Does it make you feel free? Whatever it is, let it be there, just notice it and allow it for now.
And here's the 10 million dollar secret...
Your specific unique brand of pull is the first step towards finding fulfillment for your own life. Those pulls we get are the nudges from the universe saying, "this is where you are meant to go, this is what you are meant to do". As simple as taking a walk right now or as complex as planning a move across the country. Sometimes it's a more subtle nudge, and sometimes it's so strong you just cannot ignore it anymore and you must do something with it.
My own pull was super strong.
It came from deep inside my chest, past my heart, and into my soul. I can't really put it into words that would make sense. But if you've felt it, you know. For me it was to train as a Life Coach, then start a Life Coaching business, and become an entrepreneur. A pull so strong that if I didn’t do it I knew something would remain missing in my life, that I would not be truly fulfilled.
I know I must allow my pulls to be there, and listen to what they have to say. With just a little practice of paying attention when I feel that tug, various pulls now speak to me all the time. My clients say the same thing happens for them. And after working with addicted individuals, let’s just say I’m super thankful my own pulls don’t lead me in the heroin direction ;).
Now that I’ve covered Feeling The Pull, next week I’ll delve into Following Your Excitement.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.
P.S. I'd love to hear about your personal pulls. What do they say? What do you notice in your body when you have them? Leave a comment below or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org
Photo at top by meepoohfoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net