Finding the Right Fit

I just returned from a college friend’s wedding. She waited until she found the right fit for her before she got married.

She is 39. And boy was she a beaming, in-love, life could not be better, happier than a pig in shit, beautifully gorgeous bride.

I had some excellent conversation with her friends at said wedding about what makes a right fit with relationships.

We talked about having the same values, enjoying some of the same activities, supporting each other in individual endeavors, knowing that we each held the responsibility to make ourselves happy. I wondered aloud what word could describe all this.

The word I came up with was easy.

Yep. Easy.

The right-fit relationships we each had with our significant others, friends, co-workers, jobs, felt easy.

Did I say perfect? No.

But I did say easy.

So I started thinking about this from a coaching perspective.

Why do some relationships we have with others seem so easy?

Meaning not a lot of struggle. No teary-eyed drama. No big stress. No strife. No never-ending work involved.

Versus the challenge that so many of us feel when we aren’t with the right significant other, the right job, the right friends.

I’ve known many people who are in relationships where they are always waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

Or they are in a job where their strengths and talents aren’t being used to the benefit of all.

Sometimes it’s with a friend with whom they no longer share the same interests and the relationship feels like just plain work.

It takes a lot of courage to deeply look at our relationships to determine if the person, the job, or the friend we are with is really a right fit for us. We have to know ourselves well to determine that.

We need to be authentic.

Know who we are.

Discover who we are if we don’t know.

Be who we are.

Fully.

Because when you are authentically you, the right fit just shows up.

You are more able to decipher when something is off with relationships and jobs, because there is way more struggle and strife than you want to deal with. There is almost always something deep inside of you that just knows this is way harder than it needs to be.

I have learned many wonderful things over the years from my good friend, the bride. But this weekend reminded me how being authentically you can bring such great joy into so many people’s lives.

Two beautiful families merged, bringing people who had not known each other previously, into a space of love, joy, sharing, and new friendships. It was brilliant. Because the bride and groom showed up in their own lives as their true, real selves.

Seriously. When two people can talk about worm composting for hours on end without looking left or right to see who is listening, they are not only the right fit, they are about as close as you can get to a damn-near-perfect-match!

Are you showing up in your own life as your authentic self?

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful. As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind. Bloom On! Susan P.S. What does being authentic look like to you?  How does it feel? Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

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