Freeing Yourself from the 'Shoulds' of Life

If you'd like to hear the audio version of this blog, click here. I recently gave a talk about time management to members of an art league in town. A little hint- time management isn’t about minutes; it’s about the energy you have, what you value, and how you spend your time based on those two things. But that’s for another post.    Are you 'shoulding' on yourself?

A gentleman came up to me afterwards and asked what I did as a life coach. Somehow our conversation got to me telling him about my ‘trifecta of despair’ when my life fell apart back in 2004. I wanted to leave my career as a physical therapist because I wasn’t passionate about it, my marriage disintegrated, and my mother was diagnosed with cancer.

I had all the things in my life I thought would make me happy, that ‘should’ have made me happy, but didn’t.

I was following the direction of my parents, who had my best interest at heart of course, but who would never know what would truly make me happy. How could they know? No one can truly know but ourselves.

Once I figured that out I started to discover what would make me happy on my terms, not what I thought others thought would make me happy or expected of me. I told him that as a life coach, I help others do the same. He said to me, “So you help free people from the ‘shoulds’ of life.”

“That… is… EXACTLY… it”, I replied.

Once I realized I was following what I thought I ‘should’ do rather than what I wanted to do, everything changed.

Because doing what I thought I should do felt crappy, uninspired, lame, and void of possibility. When I started to stop doing what I thought I ‘should’ do, or what I thought everyone else expected of me, my life opened up, possibilities returned, and opportunities revealed themselves.

What a sigh of relief I tell you. A big massive sigh of relief.

I rarely ‘should’ on myself anymore. It does happen occasionally. So when I do, I know the decision around it must be important to me or I wouldn’t take pause.

I invite you to start freeing yourself from the ‘shoulds’ in your life. Where can you start saying no to little things you think you should do but don’t have the energy for or value much? You might just save some time. ;)

What are you willing to start saying no to that you think you 'should' do? Join the conversation on the blog by leaving a comment below, or email me,

I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.

As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.

Bloom On!

Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…