I was hiking with a friend a few months ago and she was upset about something going on in her life. She spent a long time talking about it and then she looked up at me and said, “I’m sorry I’m taking your time to vent about what’s happening.” I asked her if she had given herself the permission to vent when she was alone. She said no, she hadn’t. I asked why not? She said she didn’t want to dwell on it. I got what she was saying. In her mind, if she spent time venting about what wash happening in her life, whether it be with herself, or others, she was just going to stay stuck in that negativity and never move forward. And yep, that can happen. Staying mired in what’s going on can suck you down further and further into the ick and that’s where you stay. And that isn’t healthy.
But what she wasn’t doing was actually giving herself the time and space, the permission, to conscientiously work through what was happening. To have her emotions and really feel them. To talk about with trusted, supportive others, what was really going on under the surface. The second I invited her to give herself permission to feel it all, she sighed a deep long breath.
It’s amazing what we don’t and won’t give ourselves permission to be, think, feel, or do. It’s almost like we’re waiting to open up the newspaper to a headline that says, Good Morning (Insert your name here)! Today you have permission to… (insert your thing here). Like permission has to come from outside of ourselves if it’s truly allowed.
For many of us, this stems from long held family beliefs about permission, what was acceptable, and what wasn’t.
Now is the time to break out of that hold if its got you.
The only permission you need is the one that comes from you. You are the one with the power to grant it. So grant it to yourself.
What do you want permission to think, be, feel, or do today?
Give it and relax.
And from now on, please don’t ask anyone else. It’s not their decision to make.
If you’d like, Leave a comment on the blog below, or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org.
If this struck you and you think, “I know one friend who would really like this”. Please forward it to them.
If you found this helpful, let me know. I’d love to hear from you.
Get Outside and Nurture Your Life