My fiance and I are on vacation visiting Bend, Oregon to see if that's where we might want to move to later this year and then to various cities in Arizona to visit friends and run on trails in a warmer, sunnier location. Being on vacation doesn't mean I've slacked off on writing my blog for you and sharing work of others that has inspired me. Enjoy!! To hear the audio version of this blog, click here.
We all know how easy it is to feel happy when things are going well with your health, job, relationships, life in general. What about those times when money is dwindling, your health is failing, or you just have too many work days before the next vacation? Where’s the happiness then?
A mentor of mine, Brook Castillo, and a rock star life coach to boot, just did a free call titled, Happiness isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s an hour-long talk and discussion about happiness, what it is, why you aren’t entitled to it, that it should be hard to get, and it is always a choice. She talks about the 4 steps to creating happiness among some other great gems. I think this is worth your time. You can download it here, then listen while making dinner, in your car, at the gym, or out on a walk.
In case you aren’t an auditory person, I’ll list many of the main points here. Of course, there is so much more she expands on in the talk.
~ Happiness doesn’t always feel happy.
~ Researcher Barbara Fredrickson has found that happy people experience a ratio of 3 positive emotions for every negative emotion.
~ You have to know what happy means for you.
~ Faking happy doesn’t work.
~ All emotions come from thoughts, according to Brooke.
~ You have to become aware of your thoughts, be conscious of what’s going on in your mind, and manage it.
~ Experiencing all emotions, including negative one’s doesn’t mean you aren’t generally happy.
~ You aren’t entitled to be happy. You are entitled to the right to pursue happiness.
~ You must do the work to bring happy to your own life.
~ We have a drive and instinct to want to be happy.
~ Our brain is programmed to search for danger and survive. This is why when we look in the mirror we automatically search for what’s wrong not what’s right and beautiful. You must consciously look for what is right.
~ Your willingness to be uncomfortable temporarily and feel negative emotions will ultimately bring you happiness.
~ Be honest with yourself about whether you are willing to do the work to create happiness in your own life.
~ You have what it takes to make you happy.
~ 4 steps to Creating Happiness
1. Know where you are on the 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions
2. Acknowledge this with curiosity and without judgment
3. Decide and commit to changing that ratio
4. Consciously decide what you want to believe, feel, and do
~ Fun and excitement are not the same as happiness. They are temporary.
~ Happiness is the energy that evolves the world.
~ Happiness isn’t for the immature.
~ How you feel is never anyone else’s fault. You always get to choose your feelings.
Your Turn: Did you agree or disagree with anything she said? Did it get you thinking about your own happiness? Leave a comment below, or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org
I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.
Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…