I was hiking with my dogs around the downhill skiing trails near my house not long ago. There is an old building that has been there for many years where skiers would hang out, but it has not been utilized for quite some time. As I walked by, I caught my reflection in one of the windows. Staring back at me was the spitting image of my mother at my age. OMG! I thought, I have become my mother. The visor I was wearing, the pant style. It was uncanny.
I have tried so hard not to become my mother. I’m betting many of you feel this way too. I think this because many of my friends and I occasionally have the “How and when did I become mother” conversation. There are so many times when I’ve either thought in my head or said out loud, “I am not going to do that thing (insert your favorite words) like my mother”. Then low and behold, sometime down the road, I do or say exactly what my mother would have said or done without even batting an eye.
And of course, this got me pondering.
I learned a tremendous amount from my mother about life. Just a little back-story for you. Her name was Martha. She hated the name Martha and went by Marty. I called her Mom, or Oh Mother sometimes when I was exasperated with her. She passed away far too young 6 years ago…
A lot of what I learned from her rings true for my life to this day. She used to tell me that kindness was incredibly important. She was a nurse and I often saw her real life example of kindness in action.
But not everything she deemed important is important to me or fits with my life and who I am today.
As I contemplated this I realized what a great exercise it is to recognize which values and beliefs I carry around that fit the real me, and which ones I just continue to follow because I’ve done it for so long and I’ve never thought about it any other way.
I’m not really my mother. You can’t really be anyone other than yourself. Yes, I’ve got some similar features physically and share some of the same beliefs and values that she held. But those values are the ones I’ve kept by choice. The one’s that feel right for me in who I am today. Of course, in 5 years that may change. As a personal growth junkie, I will evolve and grow as I gain more information, change perspectives, and have new experiences. And that’s perfectly okay.
Have you become your mother?
Are you keeping what you’ve learned that works for who you are now and ditching the rest? Join the conversation on the blog by leaving a comment below, or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org
I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.