If you'd like to hear the audio version of this blog, click here. Brene Brown, PH.D., Social Worker and researcher, has spent the last decade-plus researching shame. It’s one of those topics most of us don’t want to talk about or face, but it absolutely runs many people’s lives.
Wondering what the difference is between guilt and shame? The two words are sometimes used interchangeably but have very different meanings. Guilt is the feeling you have when you have done something wrong. Shame is the feeling you have when you feel like, you are wrong. Often it comes from our perception of others judging us, frequently it’s us judging or putting ourselves down.
She has given a talk about it through TED, titled Listening to Shame. It’s an honest, open look at shame, and how vulnerability and empathy are the paths to crushing it. It’s a 20-minute video, I believe, well worth your time. It made me cry. Click here if you’d like to watch it.
I’ll let you in on a secret about me. Shame has been a part of my own life for a long time. I just didn’t know it or recognize it.
One of Brene’s books, I thought it was just me (and it isn’t) Telling the truth about perfectionism, inadequacy, and power, is a guide to building shame resilience. She covers shame in great detail with many examples of the individuals who have been a part of her research and from her own life. I can almost guarantee you will recognize an experience you’ve had and yourself in the stories. I did.
Shame is the proverbial elephant in the room that no one wants to discuss. But when you shine a light on the issue, therein lies the possibility to heal.
Your Turn: What resonated with you, if anything, from the video? Leave a comment below, or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org
I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.
Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…