Snow

Going with the flow

We have a little problem here in Fairbanks, Alaska. We are usually knee-deep in what we call break-up this time of year. The temperatures are above freezing during the day (and most nights), the snow is melting like gangbusters, we have daylight almost no matter what time you go to bed or get up, and we are leaving winter behind in the literal and metaphorical dust.  going with the flow Except the usual isn’t happening. We continue to have snowstorms and colder weather. We are so close to spring we can feel it with every fiber of our being but we keep being teased every few days with warmer sunshine and melting, followed by white, seriously distressing, frozen flakes falling from the sky.

It’s time to practice the “go with the flow” mentality. We’re past the grumbling stage. We’re past denial. Past sad. Past upset.

We’ve moved on to, get those skis back out and go for a spin, wow… all this snow means the ground will be more wet and provide beautiful grass and flowers this summer, and this could make for less forest fires this next season.

What we resist persists.

That’s not a new phrase but it’s true. The more we resist what is really happening, the more crappy we feel. And we can always choose how we feel at any given point by choosing what thoughts we think about the situation. Snow outside is just that. It’s snow. It isn’t good or bad. It’s neutral. It’s only good or bad based upon the judgment we place on it. To the person who absolutely loves to ski, the snow is still awesome. To the person who can’t wait to be in shorts  enjoying the green grass, the snow sucks.

Going with the flow means you have to be willing to drop your personal timeline.

Because most certainly, the weather will not often cooperate and follow the timeline you have for it. How could it? Everyone has their own perfect timeline for what the weather should be like on any given day of the year depending upon what that person would prefer to be doing and what weather they think would perfectly accompany that. Poor Mother Nature couldn’t keep up with that many different requests no matter how hard she tried.

Here’s why going with the flow can be so helpful.

Because when you drop your timeline for something to happen, your stress drops markedly. The stress comes from the fact that you want something to happen in a different time frame than it is. You’ve decided that isn’t good, therefore you feel crappy about it.

Think about it, there aren’t that many instances where time is crucial, I mean life and death crucial. Other than people needing to go to the hospital or being in surgery for example, it’s us who have decided that the natural flow of the way things occur isn’t right.

Be willing to drop some of your timeline for things in life and notice what happens to your stress level. It’s like riding a wave. Go up when it goes up, come down when it comes down, and you’ll never drown in the surf… or the snow :)

Are you willing to go with the flow and drop your timeline for some event in your life? Join the conversation on the blog by leaving a comment below, or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.

As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.

Bloom On!

Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…

What to do when circumstances aren't changing

To hear the audio version of this blog, click here. Here in Fairbanks, Alaska, we are all ready for spring. For the snow to melt, to put on less clothing, and enjoy a change of season. Except, old man winter has decided he is not anywhere through with us. We’ve had snow for a few days with more forecasted, much colder than normal temperatures, and we really don’t have an end in sight. snow can be a crappy circumstance when you want it to be spring

We’ve already had 6 months of winter and we all seem to be collectively saying, “Seriously?” and “ Are you freaking kidding me?”

Since mother nature is playing her proverbial joke that we don’t find funny, this brings up a perfect question. How do we cope when circumstances aren’t what we’d like? Can you think of anywhere in your life where this might be going on?

The first thing to remember is this, “this too shall pass.” Everything does, in time. The nature of life is that everything is always changing. The same goes with circumstances. Even when you think they will go on forever, they won’t.

Here are three ways you can actively deal with circumstances that aren’t changing and you just don’t like.

1.   Accept

2.   Allow

3.   Choose

You already know that whatever circumstance is bugging you will pass (like I know it won’t continue to snow for the next 3 months), but in the meantime…

Accept- Accept the specific circumstances. This doesn’t mean you have to like what’s going on at all. Accepting the crappy circumstances enables you to say, “this isn’t my idea of a good time, but I’m willing to acknowledge that this is what is going on at this moment and that’s the way it is for right now."

Allow- One of the best ways to allow a yucky circumstance is to actually give yourself a few minutes to be all pissy about it. Here’s my example that I say either in my mind or out loud.

Me: “I am so freaking tired of winter, the cold, the snow, the barren trees outside. We’ve had winter since October, most of the rest of the country is in shorts and t-shirts already and I’m having to put on 3 layers just to go outside. When will it end? When? When? When?” It’s a bit like a 60-second rant you see.

Then I feel my emotions around it. I feel mad, sad, frustrated, and irritated. Then I actually notice and feel where those emotions show up in my body. Mad shows up as a scrunched forehead. Sad shows up as droopy shoulders. Frustrated shows up as a heavy chest. After thinking what I need to think about the situation (1 minute), feeling my feelings emotionally and physically (2 minutes), I then…

Choose- I either choose to continue suffering or choose to move forward with my day. It’s not going to stop snowing outside or get warmer by my willing it, so I can either stay in the crappy mood I’ve created or choose to think and feel differently about these circumstances. For example, I’m going to put on my snowshoes and go for a run, finish my blog post for the week, coach one of my favorite clients, and enjoy the 16 hours of daylight I do have outside. You can do this too.

Accept… Allow… Choose.

And don’t forget, “this too shall pass”.

What circumstance are you willing to change your perception about? Join the conversation on the blog by leaving a comment below, or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.

As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.

Bloom On!

Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…