We’re about to turn the page on another year. There’s something about a period of time ending and a new one beginning that causes many of us to reflect on the year we’ve had and dream about what the next may hold. Many set resolutions. Some don’t even bother.
My pause has brought a big realization.
I don’t truly appreciate who I am.
I’m a personal-growth junkie and love that about myself. It’s so much fun always learning and growing.
But it means I’m always trying to “improve” myself. Be better. More. Different than I am. More patient, loving, kind, focused, caring, committed, goal-oriented... You name it. And that leaves me thinking I’m always falling short. That feels way icky.
Our culture doesn’t support self-acceptance. The media is always showing us ways to look better, do things faster, and tell us how much better we’d be if only we tried A or bought B.
But I’m not going to place blame on the media, or men for pushing women down for so long, or big companies for trying to make money.
Nope. That buck stops here.
It’s MY responsibility.
It starts with noticing the thoughts I have in my head that say “you should be more patient, or nice, or energetic, or whatever my silly mind comes up with at the time. Then notice when I have these thoughts, I berate myself for not being more than I am. This makes me feel like hiding under a rock, which of course perpetuates the whole cycle of thinking that if I only would be better at those things I “should” be better at, or “more” than I am, I might not have those thoughts, then feel so bad.
It’s such a losing battle.
And it’s crazy because that whole battle is me with me. No one else.
Good golly people!
So after my pause, I’ve decided. For 2014, I’m not going to try to make myself “better” or “more”. I’m going to just be, and accept that.
I’m really tired of trying to be more. Better. It’s exhausting.
What you focus on, grows. Think about it. If you focus on what you appreciate and like about yourself already, that’s what you’ll see. Focus on the things you want to change, then you’ll only see the things you don’t like.
It won’t be easy for this self-growth junkie. But maybe, just maybe, that’s my lesson. My self-growth will come when I let go of the need to be better than I am.
That will be my mantra for 2014. “I don’t need to be any better than I am”.
Now that was worth a pause…
What realizations did your pause bring you?
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I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.