I was working with a client recently who was really worried about what others would think of her if she went to a zumba class. Would they think she was in shape enough or wore the right outfit? It was a new adventure for her and she really wanted to try it but she couldn’t get herself to go because of her worry.
This is when I told her about the ‘Rule of 1/3’s’. I invited her to recognize that no matter who you are or what you do, about 1/3 of all people will love you no matter what, 1/3 will like you sometimes and not others, and 1/3 will never like you no matter how much of a rock star you are.
Think about it. You could do a survey of your friends and family asking their thoughts about your favorite actor. Chances are you would find 1/3 think they are phenomenal no matter what movie they are in, 1/3 will have liked them in some movies but not others, and 1/3 wouldn’t see a movie that actor was in if you paid them.
This is fabulous news really. My client is who she is. No matter how she shows up in her life, 1/3 of the people she comes into contact with are going to think she’s the cat’s meow and appreciate her for her. She has absolutely no control over the other 2/3 no matter what she does or doesn’t do.
How liberating this is I believe.
The people that are going to be drawn to you will be, because you are you. It works the other way too. You will be drawn to others because of who they are as well. There’s freedom in that. Emotional freedom!
The other tip I gave my client was this. I reminded her that everyone else in the room was probably just as worried about what she thought of them. We’re funny creatures us human beings.
The next time you might be worried about what others think, remember the ‘Rule of 1/3’s’.
By the way, my client went to zumba and had a ball. More than once. I was so proud.
What would you try if you weren't worried what others think? Join the conversation on the blog by leaving a comment below, or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org
I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.
Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…