If you'd like to hear the audio version of this blog, click here. Halloween has passed us by. Hurricane Sandy left her mark. I’m still mentally sending healing energy their direction. We even made it through the U.S. Presidential election, as if that madness wasn’t enough to drive us into hibernation for the rest of the winter.
The Holiday Season.
This includes Thanksgiving, Christmas/Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Years, and whatever else you celebrate. The time of year when people are slaving over turkeys all day in a home filled with relatives they haven’t seen in a year (for good reason), getting up at 2am the very next day after said slaving to line up at stores in hopes of getting the best deal on some new toy for their child (who won’t appreciate it two days after they receive it), possibly getting mauled by others in the same crowd who are not above beating you over the head with the two by four they brought into the store specifically for that purpose so they could buy that toy you were going to buy for their own ungrateful child. But I digress.
I actually do enjoy the holidays, contrary to what you’ve just read. But that’s because I have incorporated two little words that help me sail splendidly into and through the holiday season.
You’ve already got them in your vocabulary.
Word number one is YES
Word number two is NO
Simple. Easy-Peasy. Done.
You will have close to a million opportunities this next several weeks to say yes or say no. How do you choose what to say when?
When to say yes.
You say yes only when you really want to. Let me repeat that. You say yes only when you really truly deeply want to. How do you know? Your body and mind will give you a gazillion signals if you are willing to listen. Start to think about all of the activities that will be a part of your holiday season. This includes anything from going to parties, baking, buying gifts, having others over, going to other’s houses, office parties, etc…
If it’s a yes, you will really want to go, just thinking about it will make you smile, your chest might feel light, a sparkle may just show up in your eye. That’s energy my friend. Good ole fashioned positive energy. It feels good. Whatever your first impression when you think about doing whatever it is, is the right one. And if the thought of doing something doesn’t hop your bunny, you say no.
When to say no.
You say no when you want to say no. If you get an invite and you picture yourself at a party and are already planning your exit strategy, it’s a no. Does the idea make you frown, does your chest feel weighed down or is there a lump in your stomach? That’s when you need to say no. Because that my friend will be a waste of your energy.
I even believe in partial "yes and's" as well as "no and's".
Yes, I’ll bake cookies for the kids at school, and I will bring 3 dozen not 12. Or yes I’ll come to your party this weekend, and I will stay one hour not 4.
Most of the time we say yes when we want to say no because we are worried about how we will make other people feel. We have a nice little story in our heads about our responsibility and that we really should go because they invited us and have had such a bad year, blah, blah, blah. STOP the story fondling.
Please listen closely. You cannot control how other people feel.
No matter how much you think you can, you cannot. So stop trying. If they want to be happy you’re coming to their gathering, THEY get to decide that. If they want to be disappointed you’re not coming, THEY get to decide that.
The holidays are a time of giving, sharing, and showing others how much they mean to us. Only you know how you can best do that. You are one human being and have just so much energy each day. You do not have to make choices that go against who you are as a person and what is important to you.
So say yes or say no, but please honor your true self with your choices, and I think you’ll find this holiday season that much more enjoyable.
Your Turn: What have you decided you will say no to already this year? Do you feel lighter? Leave a comment below, or email me, email@example.com
My Pay What You Want (almost) November for coaching Campaign has one week left, get all the details here.
I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.
Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…