I’ve not written to you for two months now. Part of me doesn’t want to continue writing because I have SO SO SO enjoyed the increased free time and not having the self-made commitment of writing weekly. And then there’s this other part of me that really wants to return to writing again. There’s actually a deeper part of me that does yearn to be “a writer”, and I have missed it.
I do struggle with where to take the Nurture Your Life Newsletter next. Maybe (hopefully) me sharing my own journey in this wild ride of a life we all live will inspire or help you on your own.
I’ve always loved Oprah’s ending to her magazine each month where she writes “What I Know for Sure”. It’s the place I feel she gets the most real in her magazine about life. There’s depth there.
I think I’ll add an end to this newsletter called, “What I Know to be True Right Now”. Because you can only really ever know what you know right now in this moment. Every choice you’ve made and everything thing that has happened to you up to this point informs who you are now and how you view life. And as life continues on and you gain even greater wisdom because you live your life with awareness and presence (which of course you do because you wouldn’t be reading this type of newsletter if you weren’t), what is true for you might change.
So I’m going to ramble a bit since it feels so right. I’ve been part of the self-help community for a looooooooong time. If you’ve read this newsletter for any length of time, you know personal growth is one of the top priorities in my life. I really do enjoy learning and growing and becoming a newer version of myself all the time.
Which is why taking two months away from goal attaining/striving/trying to get to the next thing has been HUGE for me. Never in my life have I stopped working towards a goal. Never. Always a degree to earn, always a job to get better at, always a business to build, always something.
So for me to spend two entire months not working toward something would have seemed like total failure in the past. Who I am if I’m not doing something that someone (who that might be I’m not sure) might think was worthwhile and not wasting my time?
I met that someone in person and she happened to be my very own mind. My own inner Creuella-De-Vil, who told me that just focusing on realigning my body through Physical Therapy, working my job at REI, and enjoying what happened to show up in my life was NOT ENOUGH. I told her to sit down and shut up. I told her I had had enough of her. That life was meant to be enjoyed and not everything I did had to be about attaining some goal and proving my worth to myself. That was the key. It wasn’t about proving my worth to others, but proving it to myself. Really BIG pondering thought there.
It wasn’t until I stepped away did I see how hard I’ve been working. Mostly mentally. Trying to get somewhere with something. I wish I could describe to you the freedom I’ve felt by letting go of my own need to work toward a goal all the time. There are just no words for the peaceful relaxed, open, contented, and restful place I’m in.
Do I wished I’d stepped into this space of letting go of Cruella a bit earlier. No, not really. You see I wouldn’t have been ready four years ago, not even four months ago to do it. Because that isn’t where I was on my personal growth journey.
I often hear you’re never ready for changes in your life but I actually have found that hasn’t been the case for me at all. I’ve made changes when I decided because I was ready. There’s something to be said about stepping up and shifting your life when you just KNOW it’s time. And I know for me that when I want to shift something, I do it. And there’s no fear involved. I hear from many self-help gurus that in order for something to be worthwhile to change there has to be fear. And I think that isn’t true for everyone or all the time. Fear doesn’t have to be part of the equation at all.
So I still don’t know where I’m headed with the Nurture Your Life Newsletter. I do know I don’t plan to write it weekly like I’ve done in the past. Let’s just say I’ll write once a month for sure, and if I’m feeling inspired, I’ll write more often. You’ll just have to check your email every Saturday to see if I’m there or not.
So what do I know to be true right now?
That no one can really tell you how to find what is true for you. Yes, you might read something in self-help that fits, or follow a part of a path someone else has taken, but if something is really true for you right now you will have a deep knowing and sense of peace about it. No question. Of course that’s how I know for me, it might be different for you. That’s for you to discover. If you really want to know (and you don't know now) you keep searching. That’s what I’ve done.
And when they (the spiritual self-help gurus) say, the answers really are inside of you, they really, truly, deeply are.
Until next time…keep searching.
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