To hear the audio version of this blog, click here. Here in Fairbanks, Alaska, we are all ready for spring. For the snow to melt, to put on less clothing, and enjoy a change of season. Except, old man winter has decided he is not anywhere through with us. We’ve had snow for a few days with more forecasted, much colder than normal temperatures, and we really don’t have an end in sight.
We’ve already had 6 months of winter and we all seem to be collectively saying, “Seriously?” and “ Are you freaking kidding me?”
Since mother nature is playing her proverbial joke that we don’t find funny, this brings up a perfect question. How do we cope when circumstances aren’t what we’d like? Can you think of anywhere in your life where this might be going on?
The first thing to remember is this, “this too shall pass.” Everything does, in time. The nature of life is that everything is always changing. The same goes with circumstances. Even when you think they will go on forever, they won’t.
Here are three ways you can actively deal with circumstances that aren’t changing and you just don’t like.
You already know that whatever circumstance is bugging you will pass (like I know it won’t continue to snow for the next 3 months), but in the meantime…
Accept- Accept the specific circumstances. This doesn’t mean you have to like what’s going on at all. Accepting the crappy circumstances enables you to say, “this isn’t my idea of a good time, but I’m willing to acknowledge that this is what is going on at this moment and that’s the way it is for right now."
Allow- One of the best ways to allow a yucky circumstance is to actually give yourself a few minutes to be all pissy about it. Here’s my example that I say either in my mind or out loud.
Me: “I am so freaking tired of winter, the cold, the snow, the barren trees outside. We’ve had winter since October, most of the rest of the country is in shorts and t-shirts already and I’m having to put on 3 layers just to go outside. When will it end? When? When? When?” It’s a bit like a 60-second rant you see.
Then I feel my emotions around it. I feel mad, sad, frustrated, and irritated. Then I actually notice and feel where those emotions show up in my body. Mad shows up as a scrunched forehead. Sad shows up as droopy shoulders. Frustrated shows up as a heavy chest. After thinking what I need to think about the situation (1 minute), feeling my feelings emotionally and physically (2 minutes), I then…
Choose- I either choose to continue suffering or choose to move forward with my day. It’s not going to stop snowing outside or get warmer by my willing it, so I can either stay in the crappy mood I’ve created or choose to think and feel differently about these circumstances. For example, I’m going to put on my snowshoes and go for a run, finish my blog post for the week, coach one of my favorite clients, and enjoy the 16 hours of daylight I do have outside. You can do this too.
Accept… Allow… Choose.
And don’t forget, “this too shall pass”.
What circumstance are you willing to change your perception about? Join the conversation on the blog by leaving a comment below, or email me, firstname.lastname@example.org
I am grateful to be able to spend some time with you virtually today. Thank you.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest you can leave behind.
Seeds of Kindness Bloom and Bloom and Bloom…